


Forgive my Love

by Yourlovelyheart



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Ashley Campbell - Freeform, Blood and Gore, Bullies, Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gore, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Larry is a sweetheart, M/M, Minor Violence, Ooc Travis phelps, Oral Sex, Original Character - Freeform, Sal is sick of his selflessness and WILL TEACH HIM., Sally Face - Freeform, larry loves all of his friends and wants the best for them, religious talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:05:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourlovelyheart/pseuds/Yourlovelyheart
Summary: Larry loves his friends and his selflessness is going to either kill him or get him killed. By other worldly forces or by Sal himself.





	1. Scratching through emotions

Dew drops dampened his clothes, making bright crimson a deep wine. Long chocolate locks splayed out amongst the soil, creating the looks of entangled roots; Pushing their way out of the earth. The sky above them was a coil of white and grey, the soft rays of the sun slowly beginning to cover them in a warmth. It was relatively quiet, the only sounds around them was the vacant bustling of human beings down towards the city. Which, luckily for them, was about ten to fifteen minutes on foot.

 

Larry wasn’t paying attention to it though. The only thing vibrating his ear drums was the soft breaths his best friend poured out behind his prosthetic. They were close, side by side as they just laid there. Neither saying a word. Enjoying the silence and the unusual peace. He smiled to himself, letting his fingers play with the wet grass. He was always grateful for when he could just sit and relax with Sal. There weren’t many times that either one of them weren’t doing something.

 

Especially Sal. 

 

He was always busy. Wasn’t he? Always walking around and talking to people. Always worried about cults and demons. Never having a moment to rest. What Larry  _ wouldn’t _ do to give Sally an easier time living. It’s a trick question for himself. He’d do anything. Anything in his will power. He wanted to cure the heart wrenching nightmares. He wanted to see the smile behind the mask. He wanted the boy to breathe life into everyone without having to lose himself to do it. 

 

Larry wanted to give and do so much. But he couldn’t do  _ anything _ . He was always useless that way. Always powerless. He wasn’t smart like Todd. He couldn’t build devices or hack into mainframes. He wasn’t sweet and amazing like Ash. Her beautiful brain pushing her words through her vocal chords and making fantastical poems that anyone could get lost in. She was always good with words. Always good with understanding and lifting people up. No wonder Sally Face had a crush on her.  Why did Sally hang out with him again? He couldn’t tell you.

 

He never had the courage to ask. 

 

“Larry?”

 

“Laaarryfaaace.”

 

“LARRY!”

 

So caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t heard Sal speaking to him. He turned his head to look at his best friend, eyes transfixed on the ocean blues that stared back at him. They were always his favorite part of the mask. The only part of the boy’s face that was truly Sal.

 

“Sorry dude, I kinda zoned out there.. is everything alright?”

 

“Yeah, I was asking if you wanted to go with Ash and I to the mall later? Are you alright?”

 

Larry smirked, nudging his friend with his elbow. He ignored the snapping sound in his chest. 

 

“Yeah man I’m fine. But nah, you should go and have a good time with Ash. I’ll stay home and paint. I know you’re definitely looking forward to having some Sally and Ash time.”  He winked while he said it, chuckling when his friend sputtered and elbowed him a bit more aggressively. He ignored the cracking sound in his chest a little longer. He could do that for Sally. He could hide the ache in his heart. Was it really for Sally? Or for himself? Selfish. If he opened his mouth he could destroy his friendship with the most amazing man he had ever met. He didn’t want to hurt the blossoming relationship Sal had slowly going with Ash. 

 

So Larry would keep his mouth shut and be metal about it. 

 

They sat in silence for another few minutes. Each millisecond weighing on Larry’s chest. Only standing when little droplets of rain slapped them in the face. The droplets became bullets. Fat and heavy. They ducked for cover and bolted from underneath the treehouse to the apartment complex, soft snorts and laughter making them feel alive. In these moments. Larry actually felt like a normal teen. Though once they reached the doors of the apartment, normal went out the window. He never knew if Sal felt it when they walked in, but this feeling of dread always washed over Larry. This feeling of anger and sadness pulled at his already aching heart. It was like fingers that wrapped around his throat and choked him until he had no air left in his lungs. The burning sensation being his only resurrection. 

 

He kept a grin on his face, the biggest lie he’s ever told. That is, until Sal opens the door for him and bows like he’s a king or prince. He bows back, feeling long strands of hair tickle his face. The smile on his face is real then. Sal always made him feel better. Whether he liked it or not. They walked in and removed their damp coats.

 

“If you don’t feel like going all the way upstairs for some dry clothes just grab some of mine. It’ll tide you over until you do. Might be a bit big on you though.”

 

“Sure, thanks Larry Face” 

 

Larry grabbed his own clothes and left the room, walking by the untouched canvas. He always let Sal have his privacy when changing. The boy preferring for no one to see his face when the prosthetic needed to come off. He changed in the bathroom, noticing that his mother wasn’t home. Lisa was probably somewhere in the apartment building taking care of some in-home disaster. 

 

Once he finished changing he grabbed a few snacks from the kitchen cupboard. Even if Sal was leaving soon, a few snacks wouldn’t hurt. This way if he started painting he could just grab. Knocking on the door of his own bedroom, he heard a muffled ‘come in’. He balanced the snacks in one arm while opening the door and was greeted with his best friend in one of his favorite band shirts. He smiled, willing the heat in his cheeks to disappear. 

 

“You know we should really have a spare change of your clothes here considering how you basically live here.” 

 

“We probably should. But we both know you can’t help but love how amazing I look in your clothes. Better than even you I would say.”

 

God help him the blue haired asshole wasn’t wrong. 

 

“Mmhmm. Keep telling yourself that Blue boy.”

 

They laughed themselves into oblivion and both sat down, playing a few rounds of games until Sal stood up and grabbed his shoes.

 

“I gotta go for now Larry Face. Gotta run upstairs and change for the mall.”

 

“Sure dude go get ready for your date! Hasta luego Sally Face.”

 

And like that the blue in his life was gone. Replaced with an empty gray. He looked at his canvas, blank and cold. He sighed and sat down, pulling his long strands into a messy bun, the underneath cascading down his spine. He was never as good at putting up his hair as Sal was. Sometimes putting it in a messy bun for him so he wouldn’t have strands with paint on them. 

 

The room felt colder. Temperature dropping and Larry couldn’t tell if it was the room or if it was him. He felt the urge to scream. To release all of the adrenaline that started to pour into his veins like a drug. He felt the need to run. Run far away from this little place he called his cave. From the apartments. He picked up his paints. Couldn’t even take the time to use a brush. His fingers dipped into the paint and he screamed through his fingertips. The canvas was scratched and off. He tasted copper in his mouth. 

 

He stared at the monster he created and it stares back. Black scratches fogging the page and red eyes stared back at him and all he could do was try to swallow the knot in his throat. Why was it haunting him? Why couldn’t he be left alone? 

He broke down and cried. His fingers blistered and red from how hard he scratched the canvas. A few places had been torn through. He was all alone. 

 

Nothing he could do but sit and stare at this monster he created. 


	2. I love you but we’re friends

Larry heard the telltale sign of a door opening and closing. How long had he been crying? How long was he just sitting on the floor? He quickly picked up the already dried painting from the easel and threw it behind his others, picking up a paintbrush and putting a random color on the canvas. His fingers were still raw and covered in black and red paint but he tried to pretend it was alright. That he needed to feel it to know he was alive In this graveyard. The door to his room opened and there was his blue boy, his pigtails bobbing with each breath.

 

“You alright Larry Face? I tried calling you on the walkie talkie and you didn’t answer.”

 

Oh shit.

 

“Oh shit! Dude I’m so sorry I didn’t hear it. I had my headphones on earlier.”

 

“It’s okay man. Just wanted to see if you were up for some vid…hey.. are you okay? Your hands are covered dude.”

 

Curse this beautiful porcelain faced boy for noticing. Always too vigilant. Larry just snorted and smiled as big as he could, his cheeks felt tight. Luckily, Sal was a bit too far to see the tears in his skin. He flexed his fingers and curled them into fists. Pushing away the wince that threatened his face. The cuts on his knuckles and fingertips were pulsing waves of pain through his nerves.

 

“Yeah! It’s just some paint. Anyway, how did your date go?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Sal took a moment to look at Larry, no doubt studying him. Saying nothing for a moment he walked over to the beanbag and sat down. Finally going on about how it wasn’t actually a date and all they did was walk around the mall and grab some food. Okay maybe it sounded like a date but he really swore it wasn’t.

 

“You know it’s OKAY for it to be a date. Next time just be straight forward and tell her how you feel dude. Just be totally metal about it!”

 

What? No! Larry shut up stop what you’re doing and shut up! The voice in his head was screaming at him to shut. The hell. Up.

 

“That’s actually really helpful advice Lar.”

 

He deserves to be happy. Larry knew it. Sal always deserved to be happy and the poor boy was handed a terrible card in this game of life. The least Larry could do is stay out of the way when it came to his best friend’s love life. Or perhaps even help. They rambled on a bit more about the topic before Sal was grabbing two controllers and Larry had to kindly deny the controller. He stated it was because of the paint on his hands and he didn’t want to get the controller dirty. He preferred to watch Sal play anyway, taking the time to beat each level and chuckle at the boy’s failed attempts.

 

He always kept the easel close to the game system, that way they could pull the beanbag over and he could paint while Sally plays his games. They spent hours like that, school not being for the next two days. Larry finished painting in colors that he didn’t remember touching. Blues and purples and a mellow orange that painted the bottom. It looked like a sunset, but all he felt when he looked at it was this sadness. The purples and blues intermingling so nice and the orange stood out and contrasted against the painting. He felt his fingers tremble in his lap.

 

He could feel eyes on him and he looked to sally who was looking back. Had he said something? He opened his lips to ask but everything turned blurry. He blinked away the blurriness and those piercing blue orbs were closing in, gentle warm hands were caressing his back and playing with the hair at the back of his head. The dam broke loose and he let out a heart wrenching sob. His hands not daring touch the boy who held him so close. His fingers covered in paint and dirtied by his blood. He would never soil the one he loved so much with his tainted hands.

 

His tears though? Larry couldn’t stop them from soiling the comforting shoulder his friend lended him to cry on. He felt the smooth cool material of the prosthetic that branded the side of his neck. Sal pulled away and used his hands to wipe away the tears on his friends face. How gentle he was. The bite on the inside of Larry’s lip still tasting of copper. Sal looked down, noticing the trembling long fingers and finally seeing the cuts and tears.

 

Larry swore he heard an almost inaudible inhale of breath. He wanted to chase it. To remove that damn mask and kiss those inhaling lips. Those warm hands cupped his own and he remembered just how wrong he was to want that. He wasn’t what Sally wanted. And that’s okay. Sal left the room, and Larry looked to his left. Red. He nearly fell backwards. Judging red eyes peered at him from the canvas that he had thrown in an attempt to hide it.

 

He choked on his tears. Sal coming back in to watch as his friend melted into a panic attack. What happened? The peroxide and bandages falling out of his hands when his friend began to grasp at his hair and tighten. Sally closed the door and locked it behind him quickly and ran to his friend, pulling him close and breathing lullabies into his ear. Finally noticing the red eyes that peered into his soul.

 

“Larry.. oh Jesus.. What the fuck?”

 

Larry groaned his apologies, telling him how sorry he was in repetition.  Sally just shook his head and moved to grab the painting, taking care not to hurt any of the others. He tossed the painting onto the floor unceremoniously and grabbed the peroxide and bandages. Sal gently lifted the boy’s trembling fingers and took care and the time to clean the paint and blood out of each cut. Once he was finished he told the metal head to follow him.

 

Larry would always follow him. No matter what, even if for a split second he didn’t want to.

 

Sal picked up the painting and grabbed Larry’s fathers lighter. Taking care of the lighter like he would something precious. Larry followed him outside and watched as he took an empty garbage can. Sal looked angry. Furious even. His fist coiled with white knuckles. The torn fabric in his hand was thrown in the can and Larry watched as the blue haired male set the piece on fire with his own father’s lighter. They watched as it burned to a crisp. The red eyes melting away in the flames.

 

Larry opened his lips once again,

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Never again Larry.”

 

He nodded, staring at the concrete between his feet. Sal took his wrist and they went inside. Sally spent the next hour just talking. Talking about anything and everything. Anything to keep Larry from thinking too much, and everything to keep himself from holding the boy who listened to so much metal but had nothing playing in the background this time.

 

Larry’s tears had dried long ago, so when Lisa finally came home, she had nothing to worry about. They all settled down for a movie since Henry wasn’t going to be home until late. They told stories that had all of them laughing and soon one in the morning rolled around. Lisa stated she was heading to bed and that she loved them both. Giving an unspoken permission for Sal to stay the night if he wanted. She kissed Larry’s forehead and the top of Sally’s head and disappeared into her room.

 

“So what do you say man, you gonna stay the night?”

 

“Yeah! Sounds good.”

 

This wouldn’t be the first time Sally had stayed the night. Especially not after the accidental face reveal that had left them both a mess. After seeing Larry’s reaction (or no reaction) to his face and the tears that had spilt after. He just preferred not to be seen if he had the choice. Larry smiled a genuine smile and sally smiled back, even if it was hidden at the moment. Larry was in a better mood, the mental breakdown earlier that day seeming like a distant memory. They moved to his room and sat on his bed, playing games on his tv until their eyelids couldn’t stay open anymore.

 

Normally, Sal would sleep on the beanbag but the bed was too fucking comfortable. He pulled off his prosthetic and put it on the bedside table that Larry had started keeping there for him. He noticed a glass on it as well, full of what he guessed was water. He blinked and looked at Larry, who just shrugged and said that it was for his eye. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. Larry was too sweet for his metal head persona. Sal snorted to himself and turned his head away to remove his eye, placing it in the glass. Sal was about to lay down when he felt long careful fingers pull out his pigtails. Taking the time to make sure no knots would snag in the bands.

 

“Sleeping in pigtails would give you an awful headache.”

 

Larry set the bands on the table and yawned, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. Sal was frozen in his spot, still surprised at how easily the small things came to his best friend. The man who was breaking down and screaming for help in his own way. The one who selflessly threw himself into danger to save his friends. Multiple times. Right now, Larry was standing by the bed a bit awkwardly. His hand running over his forearm.

 

“Do you want me to sleep on the beanbag? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable man.”

 

“It’s fine Larry Face, come on. It’s your bed anyway.”

 

“Yeah well, I’m cool with taking the beanbag if you don’t want me laying next to you. I’m warning you now. I’m a cuddler in my sleep.”

 

Sal snorted.

 

“Dude you’re a cuddler awake. Just shut up and come lay down. Turn off the light while you’re at it.”

 

So he did. Larry smiled and turned off the light, waddling over with his long legs and joining the blue haired male under the sheets. Sal could smell the cologne his friend wore, a faded version after hours of having put it on. But it was there. Oddly relaxing. Suddenly a soft whisper echoed in his ears.

 

“Hey Sal?”

 

“Yes Lar?”

 

“Thanks. For earlier. You’re an awesome friend to have and I’m just...really grateful for you.”

 

Sal turned his head, suddenly upset he couldn’t see him. He reached out a hand and slightly flinched when he felt the soft skin of his friend’s arm. Larry inhaled and turned on his side, both boys facing each other but not being able to see.  

They stared into the darkness until Sal finally found the words he wanted to say.

 

“You’re never alone Larry. I’ll always be here for you and so will our other friends. You can’t stand by yourself and carry the world on your shoulders all the time. You can’t make everyone happy and you can’t save everyone. Especially if you can barely carry and lift yourself.  And that’s okay! Because I’ll be here to make you feel better.. and lift you up… always. Okay?”

 

The blue haired boy was suddenly wrapped in lean and yet strong arms. The smell of cologne right against his nostrils. He inhaled deeply, wrapping his arms

around his friend in return.

 

“Sal. I love you.”

 

His heart skipped a beat in his chest. Panic sang in his eardrums but all Sal could respond with was the one thing Larry wished he never did.

 

“I love you too Larry Face. You’re my best friend!”

 

Best friends and that’ll be it. Until the day I die. Larry promised Sal in his mind. He would never get in the way of Sal’s happiness. Never.


	3. The bully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before we go into this. I added an original character that is mostly used for plot thickening. This is more of a filler chapter so I apologize if it seems a little rushed. It’s meant to feel like time is going by really fast so I hope it comes across that way! WARNING: This chapter has really offensive language and comments. Please read at your own risk.

“Larry! Larry please slow down!”

 

“No Ash. I need to stop this punk right now. I’m not fucking letting him touch you or anyone else ever again and he better man the fuck up!”

 

“I know what you mean Larry but you can’t just storm up and hit him! It won’t do either of you any good!”

 

Larry stopped in his tracks and looked at his panting friend. Her hands on her knees while she caught her breath.

 

“I’m not gonna hit him Ash. I’m gonna kill him!”

 

“Larry!”

 

“With WORDS.” Larry couldn’t help but give a smirk when Ash gave him her evil eye. Those punk twelfth graders need to lay off his friends. He’s sick of this shit. Ashley never deserved to be called names and definitely not shoved to the side like she was. Effectively making her drop everything. That fucker (whatever his name was. He’s sure she said it but he couldn’t remember) stepped on her drawing and If she thought Larry wasn’t going to go up and tell that jackass what for she had another thing coming. It was only one this time and Larry knew he could at least take one of them on if it came to it.

 

Ash sighed and shook her head, her hair dangling in front of her face. A frustrated groan escaped her lips and she pushed her hair back. She knew Larry was on a mission and the only thing she could do now was get Sal to fix this. So while Larry went off to find the man who picked on her, she ran in the opposite direction. Hoping to find their friend fast enough. If she could find Sal, then Sal could help Larry and Larry might not end up killing someone. Or worse. Get killed.

 

She ran down multiple halls, checked the lunchroom, checked the classrooms. ‘Where is he?!’ She prayed he wasn’t in the bathroom. That would be the last place she checked. Finally she caught sight of him talking to Todd and Travis, who surprisingly, started talking to them little by little after a confrontation between him and Sal. Sal always did have a way of making people comfortable. They were by the doors to the back of the building, probably discussing random things. When the boys noticed her, their eyes trained into her face. Immediately they stood at full attention. She stopped in front of them, putting up a finger for a moment to catch her breath.

 

“Larry..assholes..punk...murder“

 

“Woah slow down, what happened?” Todd asked.

 

Ash took a deep breath, gaining her bearings. “Larry is going to murder a punk asshole.”

 

Sal was immediately at attention, stepping forward to follow without so much as a question to why. This wasn’t the first time this had happened and yet they still hoped it would be the last. Travis and Todd stayed behind, If something were to happen they preferred not to get in trouble with the principal. Again.

 

“A guy shoved me and stepped on my painting. Larry saw and was super pissed. I tried telling him to slow down but he didn’t listen and now he’s in one of his rages. He said he wants to ‘kill him with words.’ I don’t even know what the hell that means!”

 

They spoke as they ran, ducking and weaving between students. Accidentally bumping into a few and apologizing on their way through. Ash having trouble breathing due to her having run the entire school nearly three times now. They had to stop. At least she did. She quickly told Sal which way Larry was going, which was by the bleachers in the gym. Where the bullies usually hung out. Sal took off in a sprint, not wanting to waste another second in finding his friend.

 

Meanwhile, Larry was in front of Ashley’s bully. His hands clenched at his sides. The man was bigger than him, at least muscle wise. But he was a bit shorter. His face was settled in a smirk, looking at the younger boy with a cockiness that Larry wanted to punch the shit out of. The furious intensity of adrenaline in his bones was nearly enough to set him off. Instead he grit his teeth. Knowing Sal would be disappointed if he had just punched first.

 

“I’m asking this nicely for my friends. Please. Stop picking on them. They have done nothing to you so you don’t need to do anything to them.” He was pushing the words out through gritted teeth.

 

The other male laughed, moving a bit closer into Larry’s space.

 

“Or what? You’ll kick my ass? Let me tell you what fucktard, I will do what I want. When I want. And you’ll do nothing to fucking stop me.”

 

Larry looked at the male and exhaled. Suddenly the anger died. His body feeling as if it weighed a ton. He went numb.

 

“I don’t want to fight you man. I really don’t. I have enough shit going on in my life without needing to worry about cliche bullies like you.”

 

Sal was teaching him. He could learn from Sal. From the love of his life. His best friend.  He could learn from Ashley. The fierce spitfire full of life and love. He could learn from Todd. The brainiac who would think with his head and not his emotions during the most important times. He could do this.

 

“Oh yeah tough guy? I’ve heard about your visit with juvy. How you nearly failed your classes cuz you’re dumb as rocks. Trust me. You’ve been the talk of the school on more than one occasion. And who would care? Your mom? Or perhaps your dad. Oh wait! He left. I would to if my son was a worthless sack of shit.”

 

Okay, maybe he couldn’t do this. How the fuck did this guy even know this shit? Who told him? The anger had died, but so did the numbness. His fingertips tingling and his chest aching. Suddenly he felt his back against a wall, his head cracking painfully against the concrete. Pain bloomed and laced together behind his eyelids and he clenched them shut for a moment. This bully’s fist was pressed up painfully against his collarbone where he had fisted Larry’s shirt. When Larry opened his eyes, he noticed that hazel eyes were close enough that Larry could map out the golden hues. If the guy wasn’t such a jackass, Larry would say he was relatively attractive. That is until he opened his fucking mouth.

 

“Admit it scumbag. You’re just a faggot who couldn’t even keep from being the reason your family left you behind. Let’s see how long it takes before your freak of a friend leaves too.”

 

Larry snapped. He saw red. His fist missing because of the closeness but his elbow bent and rapidly he was connecting with cartilage. The male stumbled backwards with a startled groan, tripping over himself and falling. Larry stood in front of him and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Long fingers threading themselves through soft fabric and tearing. He saw blood travel down the male’s face and down his chin.

 

“You’re saying shit I already know jackass. You really think I don’t know that shit? Say whatever you want about me but you will NEVER. And I mean NEVER call my friend a freak again. Understand me? If you have a fucking problem you can come to me about it. You wanna fight? Come to me. I’m not afraid to knock your fucking teeth out. But don’t you dare lay a finger on Ash. Todd. Travis. Or Sal ever again. Or I will break more than your fucking nose. Capiche?”

 

Kyle. That’s what this asshole’s name was. He finally remembered. Kyle stared up at him, eyes wide and startled. His mouth opening and closing a few times before he nodded. Larry grabbed his arm and yanked him up. Not noticing the blue haired boy standing in the doorway to the gym. Late but hearing pieces of conversation between the two men. Kyle tugged his arm away.

 

“Listen man, I asked nicely. I really hope this shit doesn’t happen again. I don’t know what’s making you act like an asshole. And to be honest I get it. I really wanted to just knock your fucking teeth out for what you did to Ash. But right now man, whatever the fuck has your panties in a bunch needs to get ripped out cuz’ I ain’t willing to get expelled over this. I have someone important I’m trying to make proud and I don’t want this anymore. You stay away from them and I won’t have to know your teeth out. How’s that sound?”

 

Larry tugged out a handkerchief from his back pocket. Kyle blinked at him, nodding and taking the black fabric to hold to his nose. Sal watched in surprise as his friend shoved his hands in his pockets and pivoted on his heel. Very minimal damage done to both of the boys. At least as much as it could have been considering. Larry had a look on his face when his back was to the bully that made Sally gasp. There was a ferocity in them that made his heart race. That look turned to one of pure happiness when he caught glimpse of Sally. Odd.

 

He walked up to Sal who immediately checked him over. His hand moving to touch at the stretched fabric of his collar. Sal frowned behind his mask when he saw the beginnings of a bruise forming. Larry just shrugged. They walked out of the gymnasium, going to their respective classes. Neither saying much except having the knowledge that they would talk about it when they got the chance.

 

The bell rang and Sal was sitting at his desk, Ash right next to him and they passed notes back and forth. Sal telling Ash everything he had heard and seen. They were proud of Larry. Sal having watched as he spoke first and punched after when he was threatened. He hadn’t heard much of their conversation before that, and were too far away when they were up against the wall.

 

Actions spoke louder than words. Right? Right.

 

Sal spent most of class doodling in his notebook mindlessly. Noting after that most of them were scribbles of his best friend, gaze fierce and restless. He swallowed the knot in his throat. Why was his friend always in his thoughts? Sal sighed, pulling his pigtails down and groaning inwardly. This was weird for him. He can’t just have a crush on his best friend. Especially not now. Not after finally getting closer to Ash. Who was coincidentally sitting right next to him and watching him have a slow building mental and romantic breakdown. The time wasn’t going by fast enough, he wanted to go home and sit down with Larry.

 

Finally, after what felt like a torturous eternity, the bell rang and school was finally over. Students began into the halls to grab their belongings and return home. The hallway peaking with life. The four friends were standing in front of their lockers, picking their locks to grab their own. They were ready to call it a day. Wanting to finally go home and leave today’s school day behind. Sadly, life seemed to be against them when Kyle sauntered up.

 

Larry was immediately on the defensive, his back straightening and his hands leaving his pockets. Kyle eyed him warily and looked at Ash, his eyes averting to the floor between them. His nose was red and swollen, but not broken. Sal was relieved that Larry couldn’t get charged with a broken nose. Ash looked at the man in front of her, eyes wide for a moment before narrowing with venom.

 

“I uh, listen. I’m sorry.”

 

Oh now see. No one was prepared for that. Larry’s fists unclenched. Sal gaped like a fish behind his mask and Ash didn’t even hide the dumbfounded look on her face. Kyle looked between both Ash and Larry.

 

“It’s alright. Thank you for apologizing” Ash replied after a second too long.

 

Kyle nodded and looked at Larry. Cheeks suddenly glowing pink. Sal’s eyes narrowed. He realized then that he had never actually looked at the bully. The man was tall, well built. He had a plain black tank top on with a leather jacket over it with a pair of bones on the back. Typical bad boy. But Sal felt a ping of jealousy echo in his chest. For what reason? He had no idea.

 

“Larry. Uh. A couple of the guys wanted to hang. Told me to invite you. And uh, it would be sweet if you came. We’re going to the mall and to a rock concert later tonight. You’re a tough guy and we thought it would be cool if you hung out with us.”

 

Three heads snapped to Larry. His eyebrows were furrowed and eyes narrowed. Everything felt cold all of a sudden. Sal’s chest was going to implode. Was Larry going to leave him? Was he going to hang out with the older teens? Was this asshole going to steal Larry from him?  

 

Wait. What?

 

Sal had to take a moment. His eyes wide and surprised with his own line of thinking. Larry was never his. He didn’t have a claim on Larry. Larry could hang out with whoever he wanted. Didn’t mean Sal would like it. In fact just the thought of it made him want to reach over and choke the man who dared try to take Larry. He almost didn’t see the tug of Larry’s lips. His mouth morphed into something akin to a sly smirk and Sal’s mouth went dry. Larry tilted his head, long dark hair cascading down his shoulder. God Larry was fucking hot. What the actual fuck? Why hadn’t he noticed this before?

 

The way his chocolate eyes became onyx and the way his posture settled into a confident lean. He was staring so much and lost in how Larry looked he nearly missed the man’s reply. His voice was a low rumble.

 

“Sorry Kyle. Sal and I are heading home. We’re gonna hang. I appreciate the offer but I’m not gonna lie. Pretty weird considering we literally just had to make a truce. Maybe next time. Yeah?”

 

“Oh uh, sure man! Alright. Then uh, see you later I guess. Oh wait! Shit. Here. I rinsed it out and stuff.”  

 

Kyle moved forward suddenly and Sal stepped forward on instinct, just to watch as the larger male picked up on of Larry’s hands carefully and put the damp handkerchief in them. Larry blinked and no one could mistake the embarrassment that flashed across his face. Before he could say anything about it Kyle turned and hightailed it out of there. The four of them watched him leave. Sal looked at Larry who looked conflicted. Sal himself was conflicted if he was being honest with himself.  Larry looked at the cloth in his hand and made a disgusted face, his rather large nose wrinkling.

 

“That shit nasty.”

 

All of a sudden Ash was laughing. Her dark hair falling back. She was laughing until she was snorting and then everyone else was laughing along. No one knew why. Maybe it was from all the tension or perhaps it was the disgusted noise Larry had made with a wrinkled face. Either way. They were grateful. They needed a break from the noise.

 

Finally, they set on their path home. Ash breaking off before the other three. They too said their goodbyes and Todd went up to his apartment while Sal and Larry went down into the basement. The elevator ride was quiet, both boys in their own minds. Sal’s thoughts were full of his best friend, echoing words and calming whispers. So caught up in everything he didn’t even hear the elevator’s telltale ding.

 

“Sally face, you okay man?”

 

“Yeah! Sorry. Kinda zoned out for a minute there.”

 

“Oh.. was it one of your visions again?”

 

“Thinking about other things. Like how you literally elbowed a bully two times our size into submission.”

 

“Dude he wasn’t that much bigger than me.” Larry chuckled.

 

“I know but imagine having that amazing story to tell your kids. It would be super metal. One elbow knocked down a bully two- no three! Times your size. The leather jacket and everything!”

 

“Dude that would have been pretty metal. Now come on muchacho, mom said she’s making tacos tonight.”

 

“DUDE TACO NIGHT? Larry Face why didn’t you say anything sooner!?”

 

Larry’s insides clenched when he saw those pigtails wiggle excitedly. Right now he had his best friend with him. Right now he’d enjoy his time with him. He might not have forever with his best friend. But right now he could pretend that he did.

 

Screw hateful words.


	4. A little love

There was a heavenly scent in the kitchen. Calm music blasting through the basement apartment. Larry was humming to the beat that was very unlike his usual metal. Love songs lacking the proper words. Men’s voices talking about their beautiful girlfriends or women’s voices a beautiful symphony of love for their men. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t find men singing of men or women singing of women. Sad. Really.

 

Lisa was once again gone fixing something in the apartments. Always busy trying to support herself and her son. She worked so hard for them both after his father left. The spark in her life seeming to come back slowly. Even more so when Larry had met Sally. One of the best days of his entire life. He would never forget the soft knock on his door and the way the small boy waddled into his room. The way they became immediate friends and all of the adventures they went on. Even if some weren’t the greatest, he would never forget them. So, as thanks, Larry set out to make some of his grandmother’s homemade cookies.

 

Chocolate chip cookies to be exact.

 

They were his mother’s favorite growing up. He was making multiple batches so he could freeze some for later. One batch for dessert and two more for lunches for the next few weeks or so. Lisa always did forget to make herself lunches for work. Maybe Larry should start waking up a bit earlier to make them for her. It’s the least he could do. In fact, he might just start doing it before he sat down to paint. Make it a habit. 

 

Acoustic music was playing on his stereo system. Ukulele and piano mixed into it. It was a ballad of strumming and beautiful keys. He hummed along, having the music so loud he didn’t hear the door open. His hands were busy measuring the chocolate chips. Then he just scooped up a handful and threw those little shits in there cuz chocolate chips never needed measuring. He smiled to himself as he thought of how offended his grandmother had been when he was five years old saying “that’s too many chocolate chips! The recipe says one cup!”

 

“Larry Face that’s too many chocolate chips. The recipe calls for one cup.”

 

Larry nearly screamed. Startled to the point he slammed his hand on the counter and doubled over with his hand clenching his chest. Larry let out a screech and Sal joined in. They dissolved into giggles followed by full on wheeze inducing laughter. Larry grabbed his sides,

 

“Holy fuck knuckles dude you scared the bejesus out of me.”

 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”

 

“Also. How fucking dare you say that was too many chocolate chips! Chocolate chips are measured with how much love you want to give to the person you are making them for.”

Larry was smiling, echoing his grandmother's words proudly and effortlessly. 

 

“So does that mean if I gave Kyle a chocolate chip cookie he’d get no fucking chocolate?” 

 

Larry was shocked at how snappy Sal’s tone was. But then he couldn’t help but snort. They had spoken about what Kyle had said that day. It was over a month or two ago. Larry lost track at this point. Sal had gotten so angry that Larry was actually frightened. Obscenities were definitely thrown around that day. 

 

“I guess so dude.”

 

“Alright then move over. I wanna make a batch of my own. Okay?” 

 

“Alright my darling Sally Face. The kitchen is at your command.”

 

Larry was suddenly grateful he had stocked up on a bunch of extra ingredients. Having bought three bags of chocolate chips just in case. Larry watched as Sal took out his pigtails and pulled it back into a bun at the top of his head so that none of his hair got in the way.  After having washed his hands and rolled up his sleeves, the smaller boy got to work. Head bobbing to the music that Larry forgot was on. Suddenly his cheeks grew a little warm. He put a batch in the oven, the room warm and comforting. 

 

A song came on. A more popular song that had recently come out and all Larry could do was sing along by instinct. The love song catchy and the tune was too close to home, speaking of . The music upbeat and uplifting. He felt eyes on him and he looked towards his friend who was looking back. His face was warmer than the oven by now. He cleared his throat and Sal chuckled before singing along as well. Obviously having heard the song before. Sally was always understanding like that. Never judgemental. Larry thought. He was so lucky to have this man as his friend. 

 

Larry had to stop to fix his own ponytail, his hair getting long enough that it was becoming difficult. He sighed and moved out of the kitchen and into the living room. Pulling his hair out of the ponytail he flung his head forward and pulled the strands together so he could pull it into a high pony. He was startled when he felt fingers card through his hair and he looked up. The words caught in his throat when he saw Sal up close. Close enough to see the small scratches in his prosthetic. 

 

“Let me help. It’s easier.” Sal said slowly, cautiously. Like a question rather than a recommendation or demand.

 

Larry just nodded and sat on the floor in front of the couch. Mindful of how long the cookies were in the oven. They had about ten minutes left anyway. This shouldn’t take long. Even if he hoped it would. Especially when small fingers weaved through his knots and rubbed at his scalp. It’s a good thing he had washed his hair that morning. This was much more than just help, from what Larry knew. But he would never complain. He’d take whatever he could get. He felt his hair being parted and he nearly questioned it but decided against it. He didn’t want to make things awkward after all. 

 

It took an extra five to six minutes but his hair was being pulled up into a bun on the top of his head. He didn’t want to move, his head resting against Sal’s leg. Once he realized those fingers were finally done moving, he had to mentally prepare himself to move. It took all of his will power to move from his spot. 

 

“Thanks man! Give me a minute and I’ll look at it in the mirror. I gotta check on the cookies really quick.” He said as he stood.

 

“Of course, anytime Lar.”

 

Larry stopped for a minute. Did Sal sound disappointed? No. He was just thinking too much. He went into the kitchen and opened the oven, checking on the cookies. They were nearly done. He took them out of the oven and placed them on top so they could continue to cook on the hot pan.

 

“Don’t touch that pan Sally Face! It’ll burn if you do and that shit hurts.”

 

“Larry only you would touch a hot pan and think ‘oh this won’t hurt’.” 

“Ouch Sal. You wound me. Buuuuuut you’re not wrong there. ” they laughed once again while Sal fished out the eggs.

 

Larry went into the restroom to check on his hair and his eyes widened. His hair was done up beautifully, a long braid pulled up into a bun on the top of his head. He wondered momentarily if Ash taught Sal how to do this. But he had never seen Ash put her hair up like this before. So maybe Sal was just more talented than he let on? What a shocker! His amazing best friend is even more amazing than he thought. Just another reason to love him more. He looked in the mirror.

 

Oh god he looked like a tomato. Did he always look like that when he thought about Sal? Probably. Yikes that sucks. The hairstyle was beautiful, but it didn’t hide the sides of his face like his normal hairstyle did. His face was in full view, nothing distracting people from his large nose or the mole on his face. He frowned. Damn he was ugly. The dark circles on his eyes still as prominent as ever. He shook his head and walked out of the bathroom before his thoughts could get the better of him. 

 

“Dude this is the best my hair has ever looked.”

 

The words left his mouth as soon as disaster struck. He watched as Sal poured in a shit ton of chocolate chips in his batch. Nearly half a bag. If not three fourths of it. He heard Sal swear under his breath. Larry waddled over.

 

“That’s aloooot of love my man.”

 

“Nah it’s not enough.” Sally responded, deciding to wing it and poured the rest of the bag in.

 

“Is that even gonna bake correctly?”

 

“I have no idea but I’m curious to find out not gonna lie.”

 

They looked at each other and shrugged, they both washed their hands (again) and made the little balls of dough together, flinging excess chocolate chips at each other. And if Sal took off his mask to eat a couple? Larry would never tell. He would say those chocolate chips were the best he ever had though. They shoved those puppies in the oven and waited. While they waited, they made a better batch. Careful not to pour too many chocolate chips in, but definitely more than a cup. Lisa only deserved the best after all. 

 

They opened the oven and just as they had predicted, the cookies were a mess. Chocolate was leaking out of the sides and some of it was burnt because of how many that were shoved together. Larry made Sal move away when he put on the oven mit to pull them out. Sally smiled behind his replaced mask. Larry was always protective. He watched as Larry pulled out the mess of a pan and slowly place it on a cooling rack they set up. 

 

“Maybe this was too much?” Larry frowned.

 

It really sucked that they didn’t come out as good as Larry had hoped. Sal worked hard on them. But instead of being disappointed like Larry would have thought. Sal was giggling and he grabbed a spatula.  Larry watched as Sal picked two up from the corner, ones that seemed to have just the right amount of chocolate chips. He didn’t even notice those. When did Sal put those there? Even more dumbfounded when Sal grabbed a plate and put a single cookie from the pair and sprinkled some more chocolate chips from the bag on it. He took his time with something and Larry was left curious.

 

“Definitely not enough.”

 

His face burned red when Sal handed him the plate. He looked down and the chips were scattered around the plate, but on top of the cookie were several placed in the shape of a heart. Larry stared at it. Not knowing what to do or say. Alarm bells were going off in his eardrums. Was this a joke? Was Sal just being a dork? Was he just showing him and it was actually for Lisa? Or maybe Ash? The alarms were getting louder. Larry please don’t get your hopes up. Act cool about this!

 

“Larry? Are you okay?”

 

“Hm? Oh yeah I’m fine. Just a little confused is all.” He was keeping his cool. 

 

The music playing was drowned out by the sound of his beating heart. Sal brought his hands to the bottom of his prosthetic and Larry was sure he was dreaming. There was no way. Then the door opened. See. There it was. Definitely not a dream. Lisa stepped through the door and was smiling away, eyes bright and Sal’s hands were away from his prosthetic nearly simultaneously. Larry couldn’t even bring himself to be upset.

 

“Hey boys! I smell cookies! What’s the special occasion?”

 

Larry was still speechless. So Sally spoke up.

 

“Larry was making cookies for you when I got here and then I decided to help out. 

 

“Really? Aw. Lar-Bear these were for me?”

 

Lisa was already over and hugging both boys in her arms, sniffling a bit. She loved them so much and Larry smiled. He hadn’t seen his mother so happy in such a long time. He felt a sniffle of his own. Then he heard Sal give one and then all three of them were on the floor of the kitchen, sniffling and crying sweet happy tears while they ate warm cookies. Lisa never mentioned how happy she was that Sal felt comfortable enough to move his mask to eat. She was so grateful for the blessings she had in her life. For the light that came into her son’s life. 

So she leaned over and kissed Sally’s forehead. Whispering a soft thank you in his ear while Larry busied himself picking things up. When Larry turned around he saw his best friend hugging his mother and he melted. He never knew what it was like to be so in love. But in that moment. He really was. So so in love. 

 

They all took a moment to breathe. Lisa looked over at the pan on the rack and her eyes widened.

 

“That’s a lot of love ain’t it?”

 

Both boys froze and they cackled. Poor Lisa was left lost and she just shook her head and smiled. Then, as if a lightbulb went off, she said an abrupt “oh!”

They stopped and looked at her, heads tilted.

 

“I actually have to get going soon. I forgot to mention to you Lar-Bear that I’m going up to your Nans to take care of some cleaning. I told her I was gonna visit her and stay the night so we can watch some soaps together.”

 

“Oh! Alright mom. Why don’t I bag some of these cookies up so you can take them with you for Nan?”

 

“You’re such a thoughtful boy.” Lisa smiled.

 

“Is it alright i-“

 

“ _ Yes _ Sal can stay the night of course. I’ll leave some money before I go so you two can either go out and eat or order in.”

 

“Thanks mom.”

 

“Thanks Lisa.”

 

“Of course you two. I’m gonna go wash up and get ready.”

 

They both nodded.

 

“If I’m gonna stay the night I’m gonna pick up a few things so I’ll be right back.”

 

“Okie dokie sounds good Sally Face.”

 

There they both went, and Larry was left by himself. He smiled a bit. Still conflicted from earlier. Was Sal trying to tell him something? Was he getting his hopes up? While Lisa was showering he finished cleaning the kitchen and bagging up her cookies. Leaving the dishes for after just in case the water heater gave out again. He went into his bedroom and cleaned up a bit, putting laundry in the hamper and making sure the bed was comfortably made. He put extra pillows on Sal’s side ever since he accidentally smashed his knee against the wall. Little asshole scared Larry half to death. 

 

He passed by his newest painting, it wasn’t finished yet but he was proud of it. A blooming blue rose sprouting from a bed of green grass that was covered in morning dew. It still needed highlights and dew drops needed to be added but it was beautiful so far.

 

Lisa left the bathroom ten minutes later, packing up her stuff and kissing him goodbye. Now the only thing to do was wait for his friend. And the minutes later he heard his walkie talkie growl from the other room. Having sprinted to his bedroom he picked up just as he heard the end of a soft “ace”. Which he guessed was “Hey, Larry Face”.

 

“What’s up Sally Face?”

 

“Just wanted to let you know I’m on my way down and I’m bringing some games and movies. BEWARE! The spookiest movies you will ever seeee! Ooooo!” He could hear Sal’s voice fluctuating as he tried to sound scary.

 

Larry rolled his eyes.

 

“Alright dude, not gonna lie this is probably one of the reasons we can’t sleep at night. Too many zombies eating at our sleep schedule.”

 

“Hey it’s either they eat our sleep schedule and get our brain cells little by little or they get it all at once. What’s going to keep them satisfied longer?”

 

“You got me there Sally Face. See you when you get down here.”

 

“See you.” And just like that the static was gone. Melodies still playing but much quieter after having turned it down. He brought a hand up to his hair, nearly forgetting that it was up. His other hadn’t even mentioned it. Perhaps she was used to this? Or perhaps Lisa is just amazing and Larry is overthinking it. Just like he was overthinking the little scene in the kitchen. Sal hadn’t meant for it to come off as flirty. Right? Right. He was just telling him he loved him in a platonic way. They’ve said they loved each other before! The thoughts rushing through at a million miles per second. 

 

What about Ash?

 

Oh see.  _ That  _ was a problem. What about his friend? The one he has been friends with for years. She liked Sal before. But wait. Didn’t she end up dating someone? His eyebrows furrowed. She said she was into someone from another grade but he had no idea if they were dating? What if his wants were true and Sal was interested in him but it was just because Ash wasn’t interested in Sal? Suddenly his heart sank to his toes and his hands shook. No. Sal would never do that. Sal would NEVER do that. He has a big heart and would never hurt Larry like that. Right? He shook his head.

 

Right.

 

The door opened for the thousandth time that night. Larry looked up from where he had sat on the couch. He prayed to whatever deity was out there that Sal hadn’t heard him. Sal was dressed up, his beautiful blue hair pulled up in a high pony. Black dangle earrings joining his normal black studs. He had on a Sanity’s Fall shirt that Larry had bought him for his birthday. It was surprisingly comfortable on the boy, not too big but not too small. As if Larry had known his exact measurements. He put on a pair of black jeans and his normal blue converse. The coat he wore was new, black and leather. It hugged to his curves and Larry swallowed. 

 

Some deity had it out for him. They must have been testing his patience. 

 

He stood up to grab the things in Sal’s arms, surprised at how much he carried downstairs. Movies and games as well as two changes of clothes. Pajamas and clothes for the next day. Sal’s Face was expressionless but Larry would swear he heard Sal hold his breath when he got close. 

 

“You..um. You look like you’re ready to go out. You ditching me to go do something nice?”

 

“The only thing I’m going to be doing is taking you out.”

 

Woah. That was demanding and Larry wasn’t ready for it. His cheeks heated up and he nearly dropped a game. 

 

“Dude you might want to rephrase that.” He set down the stuff on the couch. 

 

“Why? I really do want to take you out man. Lisa said we could go out to eat so let’s go!”

 

Oh. Okay. So not a date. Larry felt disappointment curl into and lace his bloodstream. 

 

“Alright man hold on, let me get my coat and my shoes. I’ll be right back.”

 

Shit Sal that didn’t come out the way you wanted it to. He groaned behind his prosthetic while he watched Larry walk away and into his bedroom. This was harder than he thought. Ash’s advice was making it so hard for him. ‘Be confident and straightforward. And if you don’t feel comfortable with it just flirt. Like. Hopelessly flirt. Larry is so hopeless that he probably won’t even realize you’re flirting unless you literally pin him to a wall.” The thought of that had sent him into a sputtering mess at the time.

 

Larry walked out with his coat and shoes, his hair still up in the braided bun. Sal walked up to him and reached up. Larry froze and Sal smirked behind his mask. He was really close. He could feel the exhale of Larry’s breath. Sal reached up and pulled the bun loose, the braid falling down Larry’s shoulder. It was still intact even if it was a little loose. Strands that fell out of the braid framed Larry’s face beautifully. Larry was stock-still underneath his fingertips. Sal took the chance to delicately trace his fingers down the side of the man’s face. Then he pulled away. They had a place to go and Sal’s plan wasn’t going to fail him due to time issues.

 

“Come on Lar, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you liked this chapter! Next chapter should be up soon <3


	5. Breathe life into me.

They left the apartments to walk to a small burger joint. The trip itself took about ten minutes. It was just on the outskirts of the city. They spoke about school, about life... about Ash. That conversation was oddly quick, Larry noted. Sal was walking close to him the entire him, keeping him on the inside of the sidewalk. Away from the traffic. They were nearly touching, hands loosely at their sides and Larry swore he could have reached not even three inches and they would be holding hands. It was kind of romantic. 

 

Sal opened the door for him when they reached the place. The smell of burgers and spices wafting into his nose. It was warm and cozy. The smaller boy following in and picking a booth that was closest to the window facing the city area. Larry moved to the side facing toward the other customers. So that Sal’s back was towards them. Meaning he could move his prosthetic out of the way without the issue of people seeing his face. A small detail that made Sally want to kiss every sweet thought the taller male had. The lights the city shone were gorgeous, highlighting Larry’s face in orange hues while he stared out the window. Sal thought Larry was gorgeous. Too busy staring at him than looking at the lights. 

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes while a waitress came and dropped off their menus. Smiling at the two boys and waddling off. Her hips swaying seductively as she walked to the next table. Full of rowdy men who probably had one too many beers. Smart move. A little extra tip. Larry’s eyebrow rose at Sal, who probably looked like he was staring. Not so smart move.

 

“Dude I get you like women but she is totally too old for you.”

 

“Oh ha ha Smart ass. We both know I’m bi. I like both. Not to mention I’m interested in someone else.”

 

Oh. Right. Larry nearly forgot this wasn’t a date. Sal had someone he wanted to be with. They were only there to eat and then go home. Not a date. Not a date. Oh god he wished it was a date. Then maybe the butterflies in his stomach would actually mean something. Or would be there for good reason. He pulled up his menu and read the choices. Hoping he could drown himself in the mounds of grease he knew would drip off of any of the burgers they could get. 

He felt a foot against his shin. Not kicking but definitely applying pressure.

 

Larry looked up from his menu in confusion and he realized the waitress was back again. Oh shit. He was so fucking lost. She asked him again for his order and when they both placed them she was gone. He was embarrassed. Upset with himself that he was beginning to ruin what was supposed to be a good time. All because of his feelings for his friend. What the fuck is wrong with him? He was supposed to be making Sal  _ happy.  _ Not worried. The male worried enough without him around. Was he really worth it to add anymore worry to the list? 

 

He wasn’t hungry anymore. 

 

Sal was staring at him from across the table, ocean eyes flickering across his face. Searching for something. Larry hummed awkwardly and then something caught his eye just behind Sal. Oh no. This is terrible. Ash. Ash was right there tucked underneath Kyle’s fucking arm. Sal went to turn and Larry’s hand shot out, touching Sal’s arm. 

 

“Look at me Sal.”

 

Sally blinked in surprise. Larry looked upset. Or distraught. Distraught was the right word. Sal’s hand caught Larry’s and rested on it for a moment. The distraught look turning into one of surprise. Sally smiled. Larry flushed. Sal leaned forward, close enough that Larry could  _ see  _ the heat in those deep piercing blue eyes. Larry swallowed.

 

“I’m looking at you Larry. Something you want to tell me?” His voice was a low rumble and it went straight to Larry’s abdomen. Holy fuck since when did Sal sound so tantalizing?

 

“U..uh.” Larry couldn’t breathe. His lips barely open and if they weren’t in public with a table in between them this might be where he would break. He looked away from Sal’s eyes and he slowly withdrew his hand. Was this some sort of prank? Maybe Ash was there to record his reaction? No. Why would he ever think that of his friends. But there was no way in hell that Sal was flirting with him. Right? Right. Maybe he was tricking himself with his want. This desperate  _ need  _ that pulsed under his skin and made him burn from the inside out. An inferno of his own right. 

 

“Ash.. is behind you with Kyle..” Larry finally got the words out after what felt like eternities. Sal immediately turned and Larry felt his heart break. Right. No way in hell. It was all in his head. He tried to sink into deeper into the cushions. Wishing that he could melt into the cracks of the floorboard and never be seen again. This was too much. So many things happening today and he couldn’t handle the twists and turns. What he wanted and ached for. What he longed for was right in front of him and his best friend didn’t know he was twisting the knife in his open wound. Opening it further with each sweet gesture. Pouring lemon juice in the seam and making lemonade from the pain with his love.

 

“Oh. Nice.”

 

And just like that, Sally was staring him down. Then their plates of food were arriving and he was left reeling. ‘Oh’? That’s it? Wasn’t Sally really into Ash? Had he been misreading it the entire time? He sighed inwardly and tried to shrug it off. They’d talk about it later. This was becoming ridiculous on his end. He needed to calm down. 

 

So he did.

 

He began making jokes about everything. From school to the city. Watching Sally laugh and make jokes of his own. They ate and swapped fries. Having each got a different kind. Waffle and house cut. Larry even got Sal to try a fry with ranch. He was immensely proud of himself when Sal had forgot all about his prosthetic on the table beside his plate and let go. Laughing and seeming to be enjoying himself freely. They were there for over an hour. 

 

Sal picked up his prosthetic and put it on just in time for their bouncy waitress to come by and drop off the receipt. It wasn’t bad. Ten bucks. They paid their bill and gave a tip before they headed out the door. Passing by Ash and Kyle who were to enthralled in their conversation to notice them. It was only slightly brisk when they got outside, still pretty warm for the time of the month. The moon was bright and full. It gave them plenty of light. The skies were clear and full of stars. Sal took his wrist and dragged him in a direction he took time in recognizing.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“Do you trust me Larry Face?”

 

“With my life Sally Face.”

 

“Good. We’re going swimming.” 

 

Larry’s lips turned into a grin. Now he was excited. Now he really recognized where they were heading.

 

“Wanna race there?” Sal asked.

 

“Think you could beat me with those tiny ass legs of yours?”

 

“You’re so fucking on. Come on twig legs! Catch me if you can!”

 

They booked it. Larry taking the lead. His long legs giving him the extra boost he needed. Though, when he looked back on it. He realized that he probably shouldn’t have put in all his effort all at once. Because soon Sal was gaining on him and passing him with ease. Cackling and cocky and Larry had pins in his sides and his lungs were failing him but he didn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop. Not if it meant keeping up with his best friend. He caught sight of the stream that led to the lake and he heard a victory guffaw. He saw Sal whooping and doing a victory dance. What a fucking nerd. 

 

God he was so in love.

 

When he reached Sal he collapsed onto the grass. Wheezing in oxygen and trying not to laugh. He had never seen the boy seem so alive. Running like he was only a kid again. The kid he never got to be. Larry stood up, walking towards Sally and listen to him brag about kicking his ass. Larry felt alive. More alive than he had in so long. Tonight was turning out to be a good night. And he was sure it was only going to get better.  

 

That is until Sal was pulling off his earrings and jacket. Then his entire body went into panic. Were they stripping? Oh god. Sal would see his ugly body and he couldn’t hide underneath his big baggy shirt. He froze. Sally noticed.

 

“Larry? Hey.. what’s wrong?”

 

“Oh uh. Nothing. Just..”  he rubbed the back of his neck, “just a little self conscious..”

 

Sally sputtered into a laugh. Larry is kidding right? Him? Self conscious? He had no right to be. Larry was beautiful in all intents and purposes. Then he actually looked at Larry. Who was rubbing his arm and looking at his feet. He wasn’t kidding. And Sal had just laughed in his face. Oh fuck.

 

“Larry.. no. I didn’t.. fuck. Okay. Listen. I’m nervous too. My face. My body.. all of it is riddled with scars and chunks are missing and..yeah. Trust me. I’m nervous too. But I trust you. And I want to swim with you. No one else is around and it’s just us. It’ll be okay.”

 

Larry frowned. Feeling like such an ass. Of course he’d be more worried about himself. This is a huge step for Sal and he just blew it out of proportion by mentioning how HE was self conscious. He shook his head and mumbled an apology. Pulling his shirt over his head. He could be brave for Sally.

 

“Come on Fisher. Let’s kick ass.”

 

Both boys stripped into their boxers and then they jumped. Sal’s prosthetic left on the grass next to their clothes. The moon was peering down at them, silhouetting their forms. They swam and swam. Enjoying every second they were in the cool water. Larry watched as Sal disappeared under the surface. His blue hair the last thing that could be spotted. 

 

“Saaaal.” He mumbled, swimming a little forward, waiting for the other male to resurface so he could splash him. He felt hands grip his sides and he gasped. Eyes widening when he felt arms lift him up from behind. Soon he was lifted off of his feet and Sal was reappearing. His arms flailed and landed quickly on Sal’s shoulders. The water helping him be lifted in the smaller boy’s arms. He looked up at Sal, who stared back. The moonlight coloring the expanse of his pale skin.

 

“I’ve got you…” his voice was that deep rumble again. A purr that made Larry grateful he was already being held up. Otherwise he’d be weak in the knees.

 

They were so close they could feel each other’s breath hit their faces. Larry chose to map out the weaving of scar tissue and soft flesh on Sal’s face. Sal made work to map out the constellations in Larry’s eyes. Neither boy saying anything. But saying everything with the looks they exchanged.

 

Larry said _I’m_ _in_ _love_ _with_ _you_.

 

Sally said _I’m_ _in_ _love_ _with_ _you_ **more** .

 

Then their lips were connecting and it was messy and sloppy. Neither boy knew what they were doing. Sally’s lips torn apart and scarred. Leaving him with the struggle of trying to find the right way to kiss. It was perfect. Their first kiss was supposed to be this. The Scarring didn’t bother Larry. It would never bother Larry. He would wait a thousand years with patience for Sal to feel comfortable. Sally let Larry down sometime during the kiss. Hands grabbed at his hips and Larry shuddered. Sweet words whispered between endless messy kisses. Each one blooming like fireworks against an expanse of night skies. 

 

“Fuck you’re beautiful.”

 

“You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

 

“I want to paint you.”

 

“I want to protect you.”

 

“We will protect each other.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“God I love you so much.”

 

Who said it first? Larry couldn’t remember. Neither could Sally. But Sally could remember the look of pure affection that Larry stared at him with. He could remember the way his dark hair fell out of the braid and splayed out in the water around them. The way his eyes held thousands of constellations and glazed over with pride. His own personal storm. The love was blinding. Suffocating. Blistering. Beautiful. It wrapped them up and kept them warm even when the water around them became too cold. 

 

They heard a boom. Startled they looked up. The moon slowly clouded over. It was time to go. Sal grabbed Larry’s hand and pulled him from the water. Not letting go except to pick up his prosthetic and their clothes. They shook off as much as they could and tossed on their clothes over their wet boxers. Regretting not having towels or an extra change of clothes. They were on their way home. Larry looked down to see a hand in his. He squeezed. Please let this not be a dream. Please don’t make him wake up. It would be too much for him to handle. 

 

When Sally squeezed his hand back, he knew he wasn’t dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m actually really happy so far with how this is turning out. This next chapter might be a bit nsfw. If you don’t like that, it’s okay. You won’t need to read it.


	6. Supernovas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has SMUT! please keep this in mind as you go forward. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to read this chapter. It won’t effect the story if you skip it. Also, please keep in mind that this chapter was difficult for me to write as it was my first ever smut part of a fic ever written. So please spare me!

They ran, wet and cold and getting pelted with heavy rain. Hand in hand and the biggest smile on their face. Larry was hollering, boisterously exclaiming his love for his best friend. He was so  _ happy _ . He felt unstoppable. Feet floating across wet grass and head held high. Like the most amazing drug. One without side effects. One that wasn’t actually bad for you. He almost missed the loud yell Sal gave of his own, his mask doing nothing to muffle the loud boom that nearly put the thunder to shame. They were supernovas. Bright and glorious.

 

He felt it. They were teens in love. Flourishing on the blooming crops of tender affection and the promise of better tomorrows. They were almost normal. The raindrops were cold and bone chilling. They would need a shower when they got back to the basement. Warm clothes and a warm blanket. Maybe Larry could drag out his old heater blanket too. Sal nearly kicked in the building’s front door when Larry’s hand was too shaken too open it properly. Luckily for them, he got it open.

 

It was late by now, ten to eleven at night. Everyone in the apartment building was either asleep or getting ready to be. Except them. Of course. They fled into the elevator. Adrenaline high and cold bodies begging to be warmed up. It wouldn’t take long for them to be in the basement. Where hopefully it was heated and cozy. Larry was antsy, his feet tapping and fingers twitching. Sal was grinning behind his prosthetic. There was something he had always wanted to do in this elevator. Now he couldn’t finally do it.

 

He grabbed Larry by his shirt collar, careful not to harm the fabric. He pulled his face down and pushed so the metalhead’s back was against the wall of the elevator. Sal pulled off his mask and their lips were connecting again. Larry gasping in surprise. Knees going weak. Their tongues swept against each other and explosions went off. Cold lips and hot tongues a stark contrast to each other. Heat began pooling in the base of their stomachs. Larry brought his arms to wrap around Sal. His fingers entangling in wet locks. The positioning was a bit awkward considering the height difference and Larry basically had to bend either his knees or his spine to make it easier but neither of them wanted to let up. 

 

The elevator dinged and they broke apart with a final gasp. Sal taking in the bright pink lips and flushed cheeks. Tingling sensations in their lips and fingertips. Larry breathed in a stuttering breath, a new warmth settling in his chest. The need and want in his bones creaking alive once again. Sal was everything Larry had ever dreamed of. His face scarred but beautiful. Full of story and memories. The false eye wasn’t fully the right color, off in tint and definitely not holding the same amount of care Sal’s real eye did. It did nothing to deter Larry. Sal wasn’t perfect, but Larry would always view him like he was. 

 

Scars and all.

 

Sal pulled Larry out of the elevator by his hand, their fingers a trembling mess.

 

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” Sal muttered.

 

“Do what? Kiss someone in the elevator?”

 

“No. Kiss YOU in the elevator. Ya dummy.”

 

“Oh… really? Always?” Larry squeaked.

 

Sally cackled. Opening the door to the basement apartment. Walking in, they began stripping of their wet clothes. Sal watched as Larry pulled off his shirt. His lean muscle flexing with the movement. It was different to be in the light. Being able to see every smooth expanse of flesh. Of beautiful untouched skin begging to be marked by nails and lips and loving bruises. Larry’s hair was stuck to parts of his back and face, wet and uncomfortable looking. They really needed a shower. 

 

“If you want, you can use the shower first. I can get the blankets ready and stuff.” Larry said a bit quietly, goosebumps lacing his arms and tracing down his boyish curves to the hem of his jeans that hung loose against his frame. Sal wondered sometimes if he ate like he was supposed to. 

 

“Did… you want to join me? Larry Face?” Sal took a leap even he didn’t know if he should have taken. Were they ready for something like that? Sal decided he really didn’t care. With the cult and the deadly monsters creeping up and around them they might as well live while they could.  They didn’t have forever after all.

 

Larry on the other hand, had turned into a statue. His hair soaked and dripped onto the carpet. He had to think fast otherwise things would become awkward. A little too eagerly he nodded his head and the small giggle Sal gave was nothing short of marvelous. Larry blushed and his large nose wrinkled. 

 

“Alright then Dumpling come on.” Sal replied. 

 

“Dumpling?” 

 

“Would you prefer I call you SugarTits?” 

 

That had Larry nearly on the floor. Damnit. They needed to do something other than make jokes all the time. They’d end up with six packs by the end of their days. His sides hurt. He grabbed Sal’s hand and they went into the bathroom together. A smile on his face that was nearly as bright as the sun. His cheeks hurt. Everything hurt in the best way possible. Stung like a bee but kissed like cool ice on a hot summer day. 

 

They plugged up the drain and turned on the hot water. Larry had a great idea and fled from the bathroom. Leaving Sal for a moment to himself. Sal checked himself in the mirror. Frowning at his own reflection. His hair was a mess, the pony he had was drooping and clumps of hair was sticking to his forehead. His scars were white while his skin was pink from the cold. His false eye was moved somewhat to the side, the pupil pointing in the wrong spot. He pulled out the ponytail. How many times had Larry seen his face? How many times had he subjected the laid back male to see this horrific picture? It wasn’t fair. They loved each other. He knew they did. But..

 

“Why?... why would you ever look at me and think that you love me?”

 

“Because you’re luminous. Sal. You give off the biggest light even in the darkest of times. No matter what has happened to you, you show kindness that most people don’t fucking deserve. But there you are. Being you. This radiant, beautiful human being. Doesn’t matter how many scars you have on you. You’re fucking brilliant.”

 

Tears. Thick and heavy, streaming from his eyes and weaving through scars. Dripping down his cheeks and staining the skin. The words were a poem that sang into Sal’s eardrums. Honest on the tongue of a misunderstood teen. 

 

“God damnit Lar.. where did you learn such big words?”

 

“Todd.”

 

Larry would have to thank Todd later. Now that he thought about it. The English help really turned out for the best. Even though technically speaking, Larry only wanted the lessons so he’d have a better vocabulary to write music. In case he ever had the nerve to bring up the whole band idea. Maybe he could later. Not now. Right now his arms were wrapped around his...best friend? Significant other? The lines were blurred to a point in his head that he couldn’t see them. Like a child losing their glasses after never taking them off.  He took a breath in and really wished it was both. Please let it be both. Don’t let Sally realize this was a mistake. 

 

His grip tightened.

 

They stood like that for a few minutes, Larry caressing every goosebump and whispering gentle poems. Ones old and new on his tongue. Ones he had written down in an attempt to get them out of his head. Each accompanied by sketches of Sal. Some colored. Some black and white. Poems and soft words pushed from his throat like a waterfall. He allowed himself this guilty pleasure. Telling himself that this wouldn’t be the last time he could do this and praying it was true.  

 

Sal wiped his tears and broke the hug first. Much to the chagrin of Larry, who seemed to want to grab onto him again. His scarred lips, or, half a lip really, formed into a half smile. They were about to get naked and into a bath. Together. His heart raced and he unbuttoned his jeans. His fingers shook against his waistband and he tugged them down. Larry mimicked the action. 

 

“Sal.. are you sure? I could always just wait outside.”

 

“Larry I’m giving you two seconds to get your ass In the tub or I swear to goat-“

 

“Woah woah don’t bring the goat into this! I’ll get in I’ll get in.”

 

Trying not to think about it too much, Larry removed his remaining articles of clothing and sank into the hot water. A satisfied groan left his lips. Damn that was nice. He felt pins and needles in his toes as they regained feeling. Sal joined him soon after, sitting in between his long legs and leaning back. Larry wrapped his arms around Sal’s middle and held him close. Both boys sighing in comfortable bliss. 

 

“Hey.. Sally?”

 

“Yes Lar?” 

 

“Are we… like. A thing?” 

 

“You mean dating?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Sal took a moment and turned so he could at least look at Larry. Did he really have to ask that?

 

“Larry Johnson.. would you do me the honors of being my boyfriend?”

 

“Sal Fischer. My answer to that would be, absolutely fucking yes.” Larry responded, the biggest smile on his face. 

 

“Well it better be considering we are naked in a bathtub. If you said no it would have gotten really awkward.”

 

“True. True. I’m just.. nervous. I’ve been wanting this for so long and I’m afraid that I’m going to just mess up. I don’t want for that to happen.”

 

Sal took a moment to think. Hoping to find the right words.

 

“Larry, everyone messes up sometimes. You just have to take that mess up and do with it what you will. It’s okay to mess up. I’ll mess up too. So we’ll be even. There is nothing that would make me want to leave you. Or regret being with you.”

 

“You? The amazing Sally Face, mess up? I’d be more likely to see pigs fly.” 

 

“We’ve seen dead people Larry. A floating pig would be the last thing we’d want to see.”

 

“Wait. Why the last thing?”

 

“Because then we’d have a harder time getting bacon.”

Both boys gave a hum. Larry grabbed the shampoo. Pouring a decent amount in his hands he lathered Sal’s hair. Taking his time to massage the scalp and rub behind his ears where the prosthetic’s straps left small indents. Sal was leaning into his touch, hums and groans of pleasure in his ears. Burning in his gut and making him ache for more. Grabbing a large plastic cup on the side of the tub (which Lisa left there ever since Larry was a toddler, he used to be a butt about it, but now he was just immensely grateful) he rinsed out Sally’s hair and began to condition instead. He combed his fingers through the blue raspberry waves, carefully detangling the knots.

 

Sal felt lucky. For the first time in his fucked up life he actually felt lucky. Like nothing could destroy what he built for himself. Long delicate fingers weaving through his locks and being held like he was precious. Larry was spoiling him, rubbing places on his scalp and the back of his neck. Taking care of the places his mask dug into. He wanted to return the favor so he shifted, careful not to crush any part of Larry. He was straddling his lap now, Larry’s legs pushed together. 

 

He placed his hands in Larry’s hair and played with a strand. Going on like Larry did, he washed his hair. Taking the time to play and massage. He was pretty sure if Larry was a cat he’d be purring. The way his face turned to pure bliss. How long had it been since someone played with his hair? Sal’s hand went down the back of Larry’s head, his hand caught in a knot. He hadn’t meant to, but he tugged. The soft whimpering moan he heard made his mind go blank. He looked down at Larry whose face was a red mess. His eyes wide and his hand covering his mouth. 

 

“S..Sal I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ 

 

Sal tugged again, pulling Larry’s head back and giving a need filled groan of his own. He had Larry in his fingertips, had him where he wanted him. He kept Larry’s hair in a tight grip, lavishing his bared throat with open mouthed kisses. The brunette was already becoming a mess, his dick hardening in between them. Sal knew he was getting there too. Taking a satisfaction in making the boy writhe with just a few kisses. 

 

He thanked whatever deity that made him short when he easily latched onto one of Larry’s collarbones. Nipping and biting and causing a heated gasp to leave his boyfriend’s lips. It was a power trip. Watching the boy come apart underneath him. Sally’s fingers tightened a bit more as he did his best to suck a bruise on Larry’s chest. 

 

Larry didn’t know where to put his hands. So he put them haphazardly on Sal’s back, tracing up his spine. Relishing the slight shiver he felt underneath his fingertips. He had to stare up at the ceiling, the fist in his hair tight and steady. Then Sal shifted and there were stars beneath his eyelids. The move causing their erections to press together. He heard a hiss and he wanted to see. He wanted to look into Sal’s eyes. So he begged with a whine. A delicious whine that made Sal’s cock twitch. Sal leaned down and the deep voice in Larry’s ear made him buck his hips. The water splashing.

 

“Let’s clean up and then I want you on your bed. Understood?”

 

Larry tried to nod, feeling as though his voice would fail him. But the grip in his hair prevented him from doing so, only loosening enough so that they could look each other in the face. So he croaked out a yes. His throat catching in the middle of it. His lips were parted. Pupils were blown wide. He looked a mess.

 

Sally fucking  _ loved _ it. 

 

He craved more. Wanted to drink in each moan like a man dying of thirst. The satisfaction of taming the metalhead was thrilling. Knowing that the aggression and rage built up was commanded under his fingertips. That it was his and his alone. One word and all hell would break loose and he wasn’t going to lie or deny that it didn’t make him power drunk. That no one could hold the beast still like he could. Because something that both of them knew. Even if they didn’t say it. Was that he was the real beast. The one who called the shots. 

 

Oh yeah. It was definitely a power trip. 

 

Larry felt small under Sal’s heavy glare. The heat still in his lap. Sally’s fingers slipped from his hair and they both broke apart to wash themselves. They could wash each other another day. Right now they had other priorities. Mostly to get the hell out of the bathtub. Suddenly, Larry was really happy he prepared that heater blanket before they got in the bathtub. They unplugged the drain and Sal hopped out first. Letting Larry get a nice view of Sal’s short frame. He had grown taller over the few years of them knowing each other but he was still small compared to Larry. 

 

Though that didn’t stop Sal from being the one in charge. Larry was never one to try to lead. Never one to pretend like he was anything more than a partner in a crime planned by someone else. Larry might have grown broader in the biceps, but they both knew that Sal was the one that held the weapons. Larry was the bodyguard. A dog at Sal’s disposal. It shouldn’t have been as hot as it was. But Larry couldn’t deny that the thought of being fully  _ used  _ and  _ owned  _ thrilled him. 

The past couple of years definitely did good for Sal’s leadership skills.

 

The next few minutes went by in a blur. Drying off and Larry leaving to his room to lay on the warm blanket like he was told. His hair was damp but it wasn’t sticking to his skin too badly so he was alright with it. Anxiety creeped it’s way in but there was no way he was going to let it ruin this night for them. Not for Sal. Who was already trying so hard not to become self conscious. Larry knew better. Each time he looked at Sal’s face he could see the offset fear. The nervousness creeping in that in some way he was going to regret everything. Too bad for Sally. Now he was stuck with him.

 

And good god was he glad that he was. 

 

Sal walked into the bedroom and Larry couldn’t look away. His eyes drifted from his beautiful face down lower. And lower. And lower until he caught a glimpse of his half hardened cock. He swallowed. For someone who was shorter, Sal wasn’t small by any means. It was already several inches, thick and red. His own was long and slender, working with the shape of his body. It was tempting to walk over and get on his knees. He tore his eyes away to look back at Sal’s face whose lip curved into a slight smirk. 

 

Sal caught his boyfriend staring, eyes traveling to each part of his body. Something crossed his mind.

 

He had a job to do.

 

With a seductive sway of his hips, he crossed his arms in front of him. Larry was sitting at the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap. Obviously trying to hide every part of himself he could. Sally moved like a predator, eyes narrow and dangerous. He grabbed Larry’s wrists and pulled them above his head. His elbows bending above his head, forearms crossing over themselves. Sal grabbed those instead. Climbing on top of him and effectively pushing Larry onto his back. The blanket underneath them warm and a pleasant sensation that matched the heat of their bodies.

 

“So. Tell me, “ Sal purred, “ you said you were self conscious of your body. Right?”

 

“..u..uh. Right.”

 

”Well I hate to break it to you. I love all of this. Every. Single. Part. ”  Sal kept a hand on Larry’s forearms but his other hand swept gingerly across bare skin, thumbing against a mark he had left on the collarbone and drifting down lower. He tugged on a perked nipple. The startled moan leaving his boyfriend’s mouth settling comfortably in his stomach. He wanted to take his time pulling Larry apart. He wanted to hear every gasp for air. Every sound he could make. 

 

“You’re fucking beautiful. So fucking sexy Larry.” He let go of Larry’s arms. “I want all of you.”

 

“I’m all yours Sal.” 

 

Lips collided, the kiss heated and messy. The ache in his bones became a roaring beast. His hands were on Sal. Craving, touching,  _ wanting _ . He couldn’t get enough and Sal was giving him everything and more. He whimpered when a hand wrapped in his hair and he was yanked back. The pain adding fuel to his reality. 

 

He trusted Sal to take care of him. To give him what he needed. He felt teeth against his ear. Against his throat. Collar bone. Hips. Everywhere Sal could reach, was marked. Butterfly kisses joining in to create a balance. Punishing but loving. Tender and caring. Aggressive and raw. Hands wrapped around Larry’s aching cock and he groaned. Loud and uncontrolled. Sal smirked up at him, pumping him slowly. Teasing him and enjoying how he writhed on the bed.

 

“So. Larry Face. How far do you think I should go?”

 

Sal watched as the gears turned around in Larry’s head. Long hair finally dry and splayed out underneath him. Reminding Sal of the way his hair looked like roots on heavy soil. The way he wanted to comb it through and kiss away the tears. Those beautiful chestnut eyes becoming dim and lost. Lonely and afraid too often. Right now those eyes was staring back at him. Glazed over with a hunger and love that had him sucking in a breath. 

 

“I don’t know. I just want you. I want to be yours Sal.”

 

The scarred man nodded. His fingers curling tighter and he pressed his lips to the beautiful chest in front of him. The boy was sun kissed. Tan and warm. Glowing when he licked a long stripe along a bony rib cage, tasting salt. Larry put his hands in Sal’s hair and entangled his fingers in the silk strands. 

 

He wouldn’t last long like this. He didn’t know if he wanted to or not. The pleasure blinding and almost bordering painful. It was choking him and keeping him balanced on the edge. Sal went lower. Kissing in between his rib cage, down his stomach and abdomen. Larry pushed himself up on his forearms. He threw his head back with a moan when a warm tongue slid from the base of his dick to the tip. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before. 

 

Sal couldn’t suck Larry off, that he knew. His scars prevented him from doing that comfortably. Instead he licked off the bead of precum forming at the tip and pumped his fist rapidly. Twisting when he reached the base and milking Larry for all he was worth. He met groans with his own, knowing Larry was right on the edge when his thighs trembled.

 

“S..Sal..”

 

“It’s alright Larry. Come for me Babe.” 

 

Everything went white and Larry came with a  _ wail _ . His back arching and eyes rolling. Thick white ropes painted his chest. Sal eased him through his orgasm, taking a chance and teasingly licking the cum off of the tip. The over sensitive mewl that came out of his friend’s mouth was absolutely music to his ears. 

 

It took Larry minutes to collect himself. His face tinted red and breaths coming out in quick pants. 

 

“Oh fuck Sal.”

 

He heard a chuckle. “That good huh?”

 

“Yeah now get your ass over here so I can return the favor.”

 

Sal did as he was told, moving up on the bed and letting Larry position him so he was sitting comfortably. Larry moved in between Sal’s legs, using his own shirt to wipe off the spunk on his chest. His nose wrinkled. He looked up from in between Sal’s thighs. His eyes were trained on him, his blue hair had fallen front of his face. 

 

Larry licked his lips and Sal shuddered. Jesus Christ he looked like art. The type of art that could never be forgotten. Beautiful blue locks. Scarred skin that didn’t mar the tantalizing mystery behind those mature eyes. He wanted to paint him. To sculpt this man and know that it would be the best piece he’d have ever done. Then those calloused fingers grabbed his hair and his lips were wrapping around hot and heavy inches. The groan of praise gave him the confidence to go further. Dark blue pubic hair tickled his nose. 

 

“Holy fuck Lar. You’re so good.”

 

That encouragement had Larry groaning. He bobbed his head, picking up the pace little by little. Then those calloused hands pushed him down so the tip hit the back of his throat and he  _ groaned. _ Sal was becoming demanding with each push of his hand and tug of his hair. Vibrations traveling deliciously into his groin. 

 

“Damn, you’re such a good slut..”

 

Holy fuck knuckles. Neither of them was ready for that. The choice in words made Larry shutter. If Sal kept talking like that he’d gladly be his slut anytime; he thought. Larry moved his hands into his lap and let Sal guide him however he wanted. Sal stood up allowing him to choose a brutal pace and fuck into Larry’s mouth with reckless abandon. He was basically skull fucking Larry. And god help him if he didn’t  _ love _ it. Even though Larry’s eyes were watering up he still looked up at Sal’s face. Drool was leaking down his chin and Sal’s praises boosted his ego one by one. 

 

Sal’s eyes struggled to stay open, the pleasure immense. Searing heat wrapped around his cock. He warned Larry with a grunt of how close he was. Larry groaned heavily around his aching cock and he nearly came. Holding on just for Larry to push his erection all the way down his throat. Holy fuck did he not have a gag reflex? Then Larry swallowed and he came. His legs stuttered underneath him and bowed over Larry’s head. Larry choked but he didn’t move, instead doing his best to swallow down the thick fluid. 

 

The taste of cum was on the back of his tongue. He tried to keep his eyes open so he could watch Sal’s face. But the way he nearly fell forward was a masterpiece. Larry swallowed once more, not willing to waste any. He pulled off with a cough and Sal fell into a sitting position on the bed. 

 

“How are you feeling? You okay?” Sally had reached forward and was rubbing the sides of Larry’s throat. Hoping he didn’t hurt him. 

 

“I’m alright.” His voice was hoarse, but he was definitely more than alright.

 

“Did...did you really swallow?”

 

“What can I say? I’m a fuckin slut.”  Larry grinned.

 

“Dude.. I honestly have no idea where that came from.”

 

They both stopped and smiled at each other. Sal moving to help Larry from his knees and onto the bed. They laid on the bed with their fingers intertwined. 

 

“I love you Larry. So fuckin much.”

 

“Sally.. I love you. I have for so long. I can’t believe this is.. real. It’s too good to be true.”

 

Sal leaned up.

 

“Yep. But it’s real and now you’re fucked. Cuz you’re stuck with me Babe.”

 

“Oh please my dearest Sally Face. Don’t insult me. I’m not fucked. I’m totally fucked  _ and  _ blessed _. _ ”

 

Sal groaned and shook his head. Snorting to himself. He stood quickly and put in one of his movies. They could play games tomorrow. He turned off the lights and ran to grab a few snacks while the before movie ads played. Running back in he saw Larry stretch his hands above his head and grabbing their pajamas. 

 

Oh shit they were still naked. 

 

He tossed the snacks on the bed (which consisted of sodas, cookies, and chips). They got dressed, Sal stealing Larry’s old SF t-shirt. He had his own pajamas there, but he obviously just wanted to wear Larry’s clothes. It made Larry smile.

 

“I’m kinda jealous I can’t wear your clothes.”

 

“Well. I could steal some of yours. Make it all smelly with my stank and give it back?”

 

“Perfect.”

 

They grinned at each other and laid in bed, Larry resting his head on Sal’s chest. Tonight they would watch movies, eat snacks and fall asleep. Tomorrow, they would tell Lisa the news. His father would come later. Both boys fell asleep before the first movie even ended. The snacks tossed to the way side of the bed. The last things on their minds?

 

Best day ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this chapter being so late. So I’m going to give a sneak peak as to what is gonna happen next. Just a sentence c;
> 
>  
> 
> “When did your fucking ghost hunting become more important than anyone around you Sal?!”


	7. Guilt

“Breaking news: Local teen in hospital after beaten to an inch of his life. Local teenager Larry Johnson, a student attending nockfell high was horribly beaten by other teenagers going to the same high school. Right now we have with us another student by the name of Patricia Lillian who claims to know what started the attack. She has already spoken to police…”

 

The girl was only in ninth grade. Her and her significant other Eve were talking by the side of the school where a group of twelfth graders came and began to pick on them. Larry Johnson had apparently seen the two girls and had come over to protect them. Telling the offenders to “back off” and the attack then took place. Homophobic slurs were said and it became classified as a hate crime. Larry was taken to the hospital nearly immediately after with several lacerations and several broken ribs as well as other injuries. The attackers were taken into custody later that day. Facing charges of felony assault.

 

Sal’s eyes were glued to the screen. The picture garbled and distorted. The woman’s voice and relay of the news was clear as day however. Like it was right in his ear. He didn’t know what was worse. The fact that this was happening to Larry or that he felt  _ nothing  _ about it _. _ Sal knew he should feel _something_ —anything.

 

He just couldn’t.  

 

Everything was a mess. Sanity’s Fall was playing in the background, becoming louder with every passing second. The screaming words sounding too much like Larry’s. He heard crying. Lisa was sitting on her couch, her eyes in the palms of her hands. She was mumbling and growling. Growling nasty things. Things about him. Her hair was a mess, falling all over in every which way. She was trembling.

 

“It’s all your fault. My son would have never been hurt this way if it wasn’t for you and him being fucking  _ gay _ together. It’s all your fault!!” 

 

Sal didn’t say anything. His eyes tearing away from Lisa. The music grew louder the further he walked away from the apartment. He got into the elevator and the ‘ding’ resounded heavily in his ears. Then. Absolute silence. He couldn’t hear anything. No music. No heart beat. No breaths. It was so  _ quiet.  _ The silence swallowed him whole and he wondered vacantly if he screamed would he hear it? Or would that disappear too?

 

The elevator doors opened and his gearboy was in his hands. Weighted and heavy. The light flickering a bright green and illuminating everything around him. He looked at the screen for a moment and then up. Stepping out of the elevator. Everything was black. The only light coming from his gadget. 

 

Sal looked around him, numbness creeping into his veins. A man hung by his neck from the ceiling. A woman was impaled by springs. A little boy cried, sitting with his chest against his knees on the floor. A lighter in his fingers. Was that a young Larry? He couldn’t tell. Sally kept looking. 

 

And looking. And looking. And looking. 

 

All around him was death and sadness. Torture. His gearboy never stopped glowing green. His mother staring back at him, lifeless and blaming. Blaming him for her death. His father stood next to her. Alive and blaming. Blaming him for his desire for death. Larry stood not too far off to the side. Sad and alone. Alive but lifeless. In his hands was a bottle and there were black tears that dropped down his cheeks. Spider veins laced his normally sun kissed flesh.

 

“When did your fucking ghost hunting become more important than anyone around you Sal?!”

 

He heard a yell. Of a voice familiar. He spun around, seeing himself standing a few feet away. His mask off. The scars on his face reforming over and over. Blood dripped from a knife in between his fingers. He was crying. But smiling. A gorilla smile weighted with heavy sorrow. 

 

“Why couldn’t you just leave things alone?! Why did you have to be nosy?! I told you that chasing after ghosts was a bad idea!”

 

The voice he heard was distorting through every sentence. Sometimes the voice was his own. Sometimes his friend’s voices. Ashley. Chug. Todd… even Larry. They all yelled at him for being the cause of their untimely deaths. Of their pain and misery.

 

“I did what I had to!”

 

He screamed. He looked down. There was blood  _ everywhere _ . Standing on top of bodies that died by his hands. Looking up at him. Accusing him of being their demise. There was static and he looked down. 

 

“Hello?”

 

The reporter’s voice rang through the walkie talkie in his fingers. 

 

“Larry Johnson, at the age of seventeen has been declared dead. His injuries took him during surgery. His Lung was pierced with a shard of his broken rib cage and he suffocated on his own blood. The group of attackers will now be faced with the possibilities of being charged with murder. I hope this is what you wanted Sal.”

 

The walkie talkie melted in his fingertips and something snapped. He looked up at the clone of himself. Crimson eyes glaring back at him. Bright and violent. 

He screamed. 

 

And screamed.

 

And screamed until the world collapsed and there was nothing left.

 

Sal woke up gasping in his bed. His fingers gripping the sheets and he brought his hand up into his hair. Struggling to breathe he reached for his walkie talkie and pressed the button. Clicking his fingers on his other hand the best he could. It was something they did when either of their nightmares got too bad. When they were in such a panic they couldn’t say anything. They’d snap their fingers into the walkie talkie. Easier for both of them instead of always trying to talk. Sal sat on the bed praying that Larry would answer. Please. Please let him answer.

 

“I’m on my way up mi sol. Try to unlock the door for me.”

 

The familiar voice coming through the walkie talkie calmed down his nerves enough for him to get up and unlock the front door. His father was out at work and Lisa already knew about Larry or Sally meeting up when either of their nightmares got too bad. She had considered it a healthy thing for both of them. So she never really got upset if she found out that they were together that night. Lisa was such an understanding mother. Sal loved her so much. 

 

He remembered when him and Larry had first woke up after spending the night together. Nearly eight months ago. Lisa was in the kitchen making chocolate chip pancakes and humming along to a rock song. Both boys had walked in and were sat down at the table. Two fresh stacks of pancakes smothered in syrup and sprinkled with chocolate chips put in front of them. 

 

“When’s the wedding?” was the only thing she said when she sat down. The biggest smile Sal had ever seen on Lisa’s lips. Both boys had choked on their pancakes. Larry had turned a brilliant shade of red. Lisa just laughed. She had given Sal a picture later. Saying she had taken two so she could keep one. She had apologized to him after saying that she should have asked to take it but they were asleep and she just really loved it.

 

The picture was on his nightstand. It was beautiful quality, showing Larry resting comfortably with his back against Sal’s chest. Sal’s Face was buried in Larry’s hair. Sal’s arms were wrapped around Larry and there was a look of bliss on the metalhead’s face. The covers had been pulled down just enough for the sanity’s fall shirt Sal had stolen that night to be apparent. The light from the door had shone on them in the dark room making everything but them shaded. 

 

Lisa was amazing. Always loving of the two boys and accepting of their actions. They had spent multiple minutes hugging after that. Lisa thanking him for being so loving of her son while he thanked her for being amazing. Larry was in the kitchen cleaning up the rest of the pancake materials when they finally returned. 

 

It was a great day that day. But right now the thought did nothing to calm the trembling in his fingertips. It was too real. The dream was too real. He just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. He had climbed back into bed after turning on his lamp and he sat there. His prosthetic in his hands staring back at him.

 

Maybe he should stop the ghost hunting. 

 

What if him trying to unlock the secrets got them all killed?

Was it really worth it? They were almost onto their last year of high school. Then they’d be graduating. Something wasn’t right about this apartment building. And the more he pried the worse it got. Ashley nearly died falling down onto those bones. Tears fell. He nearly killed one of his best friends. It was all his fault. All of it.

 

Gentle hands wrapped around him and he gave out a hoarse cry. Trembling against his boyfriends warm body. The fear. The devastation. The pain. All of it pouring out of him in waves. He screamed in the man’s shirt until there was nothing left but whimpers. Larry held him through all of it. Not saying a word but rubbing the crying male’s back. Sal was grateful. He didn’t think he could talk about anything right then. 

 

Larry’s thumbs were wiping away the tears. Soft kisses against his forehead and cheeks helped calm him down. Larry looked at him with onyx orbs, the lack of lighting making his eyes look darker than usual. Suddenly, Larry’s eyes sparkled. 

 

“I have an idea.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this idea that Larry only knows a little bit of Spanish. But the Spanish he does know is always used in the sweetest ways. Such as “mi sol.” Which means “my sun.”


	8. I screwed up

“You’re the fucking reason I can’t sleep at night! You’re the reason I have all these fucking nightmares!

 

Larry reeled back like he got punched, his eyes wide and tearing up. 

 

“I… I’m so sorry Sal..”

 

Sal held the broken GearBoy in his hands. Eyes wide behind his mask. Did he really just say that? Larry was pale, hands trembling at his sides. Soaked from head to toe. Those beautiful onyx eyes seemed to lose their glow. He looked like he was withering in on himself. Like a gorgeous flower finally wilting. 

 

“Let..let me drive us home.”

 

Larry started the car, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. He was trying hard not to cry. There was a cracking in his chest. The ride home was quiet and tense. Sal was staring down in his lap. He didn’t know what to say. Was there anything to say? Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to say those mean things? Why does he hurt everyone he loves?

 

They ended up in front of the apartment building and Sal got out of the car. He turned to close the door and he saw Larry burying his face against his forearms. Sal closed the door quietly. Not surprised to hear the car drive away. To where? He had no idea. He went inside. 

 

Larry on the other hand was driving way passed the speed limit. He was on the back roads, so if anything happened it would be to him and only him. Why did this happen? What did he do so wrong? It wasn’t a fucking curse so it had to be him. The car rolled to a stop on the side of the road. The forest thick and dense in this area. He cried. Sobbed heavy viscous tears that stained his cheeks.

 

Sal was going to leave him behind. Just like he was told before. He fucking knew it. He knew it and he let himself believe things would be okay. He had managed to fuck everything up in eight months.  _ Eight. _ How terrible is he? He got out of the car and sat on the side of the road, pulling out a cigarette that he stole from Lisa’s car. It wasn’t Lisa’s, but one of his old ones that he left in there. Sal hated when he smoked, in fact, he was nuclear when he found out Larry had picked up on the habit. Larry promised to cut back on it, wean himself off of the nicotine little by little. And he had. He had been clean of them for over two months. But right now he just needed something to calm his nerves. 

 

Just one cigarette while he thought about how that had all happened.

 

He had left Sal’s room and told him to get dressed. His only instruction be to meet him at the front door and leave his hair down. He ran to the basement and woke his mother up to ask about borrowing the car for a few hours. Luckily for him, she had said that as long as he refills the tank he can use it for however long he wants. That was the point of getting him his license in the first place. 

 

He was excited, running into his bedroom and picking up his leather jacket. One that was gifted to him by Kyle actually. He pulled his hair up into a ponytail, remembering how Sal liked him having his hair up. His hair was getting longer, already reaching to his lower back. He might have to cut it a little shorter soon. Maybe.

 

Probably not. 

 

It was already four am. Soon the sun would be rising and his plan wouldn’t work if he didn’t get out of there soon enough. Larry grabbed his wallet and the car keys, quickly making his way out the door. 

 

They met up at the front door, Sally donning one of the shirts Larry had gotten him for Christmas. Larry noticed a hoodie in his arms. It was June now, so the weather outside was much warmer. But the cool breeze that settled when the wind hit would definitely chill their bones. Sal’s hair was down as he had requested. His hair having gotten a bit longer too. It draped to just below his shoulder blades. No matter how Sally dressed, Larry always thought he looked gorgeous. 

 

He had opened the door and they got into the car, it was old, but it was a good one. The top was still able to be brought down. It was his father’s old convertible. Deep blue and rusted at the bottom. But it was still in working condition and oddly enough neither Lisa or Larry had any problems with it. 

 

“Get ready to forget about all of this ghostly shit Sally. It’s gonna be a fun ride.”

 

“Alrighty Larry Face. Whatever you say”

 

So off they went. Larry putting down the roof of the convertible and Sal gasped. The wind whipped the hair out of their faces and Sal felt alive. They were laughing and whooping, Larry driving them towards the city but taking a turn. Larry pulled over and ushered Sal out of the car. Sal put on his hoodie and tucked his hands in his pockets. Eyes wide while he stared out at the beautiful field in front of him.

 

“Where are we Larry?”

 

“Well, when I was a child, my dad brought me out here to play ball and such. It was a nice time. But the real thing I wanted to show you will take a few minutes of walking. You up for it?”

 

“Fuck yeah! Let’s go.”

 

Larry had nodded and led him through the field, stopping to move a log out of the way. They took twists and turns. Further and further away from the car and it made Sal a little nervous about leaving the car unattended like that. But Larry had assured him it would be alright. After a moment of catching their breath, Larry pointed out their surroundings.

 

It took Sal’s breath away. The boy silent as those ocean eyes looked around. The clearing had broken off against a rather small stream, at the base of it was a waterfall that led towards the lake off in the distance. Larry took his hand and pulled him closer to the edge, sitting down just before reaching it. They still had time before sunrise hit.

 

“I know that things are rough right now Sally. But rest assured things will be okay. I’ll always be there for you. Alright?”

 

“Alright, thank you.. I’m just. Tired. Y’know? Like. Really damn tired.”

 

Larry had nodded and rubbed his back. Wrapping an arm around him. They sat like that and said nothing. The soft kiss against his prosthetic making Sal blush. 

It was quiet, and comfortable. Like nothing in the world could hurt them.

 

That is. Until Larry had to go fucking everything up.

 

Light streamed from Sal’s hoodie. Green. They both looked down. Eyes wide. 

 

“You.. brought the gearboy?”

 

“Yeah. I figured I could bring it with me just in case any ghosts were around.”

 

For some reason, that hit Larry’s nerves wrong. He was never one to get really angry at something. Never one to throw a fit. But this was supposed to be their time. A time for them and nothing else. 

 

“But. Why? You could have left it back at the apartments.”

 

“It’s no big deal man. Calm down.”

 

“Sal. I get that you want to protect the world from this crazy ghost shit but come on. Put the damn thing down once in awhile.”

 

“Larry you’re being over dramatic.”

 

“I’m really not. You’re having fucking nightmares because of this shit! How is that being over dramatic?! It’s 4:30 in the fucking morning and we’re out here to get you  _ away _ from all of this bad shit!”

 

Larry stood up, eyes narrowed.  His voice was rising. He was angry. The heat rushing to his face in a rage. There was a storm rushing underneath his skin, begging to be released. He tried to push it down long enough to breathe through his nose. 

 

“No one asked you to take me out here Larry! In fact, I really wish I would have stayed in if all you’re going to do is act like a prick!”

 

“Oh right! Because acting like a prick was what I wanted to do Sal!”

 

Larry was practically growling. Seething. It looked as if Sal was doing no better. His grip tight on the gearboy. It was glowing green. Aggressively. Sal looked down at it, his finger twitching towards the button.

 

“Sal I swear to god if you press the fucking button I will throw the damn thing.”

 

“Threatening me now Johnson?”

 

“It’s not a threat it’s a fucking promise Fisher.”

 

This was dangerous. Both of them knew it. It was a gun put to their heads and either one of them could pull the trigger. Sal put his finger on the button and pressed it. The earth around them glowing green. A bright light flashed and a woman was standing in the forest. Her eyes wide before she disappeared without another trace.

 

Sal cocked it.

 

Larry pulled the trigger.

 

He made good on his word. He grabbed the gearboy out of Sal’s hands none too gently and threw it. Hard. It landed further down the waterfall, landing against the rocks and grass. They heard a cracking sound. It broke. Immediately Larry regretted it. His eyes wide and fingers trembling.

 

Then Sal pushed him and he fell. Right into the waterfall. Luckily, it wasn’t too far of a drop but it was a drop nonetheless. He landed painfully, a rock at the bottom hitting him just below the ribcage. The wind was knocked out of him. He looked up, eyes wide and he gasped for breath. Swallowing a bunch of water. He coughed up, vomiting water and he saw Sal walking towards his broken device. 

 

When did that fucking thing become more important than him?

 

He got out of the water. Soaked and shivering. His hair sticking to his skin. 

 

“What the actual fuck Sal?!”

 

“You’re the reason.” Sal’s voice rang in his ears.

 

“What?” 

 

“You’re the fucking reason I can’t sleep at night! You’re the reason I have all of these fucking nightmares!”

 

Larry took a drag of his cigarette. His lungs burning. His back still hurt. But it was dull compared to the ache in his chest. He wished so many things. So many things went through his head. He wished he never opened his mouth.

 

Then he looked up and the cigarette in his hands burned his fingers when he crushed it. Tears gathered and he gave a hoarse yell.

 

They never got to see the sunrise.


	9. The House I hide in

Before he met Sally everything was bleak and colorless. His paintings were drowned in dark shadows and teardrops. Larry watched as his mother worked herself to death. A machine that could have broken down at any moment. Just over a year ago she had started to tell him good morning again.

He had always wondered if she blamed him for his father’s disappearance. Always wondered if he was holding her back from true happiness or perhaps if he had never existed then maybe his little sister would have been born instead. Maybe his mother wouldn’t have had to cry. She wouldn’t have been burdened with disappointment, Larry often told himself. His little sister would have been better than him. She would have left the shitty town they call their home.

He often wondered the what ifs and always came out with better alternatives than himself.

Then Sally came into his life. He found himself painting more and more. The colors on his canvas the least used out of his entire collection but they were the most beautiful. He knew this boy would become his best friend right away. He felt this unmistakeable urge to protect him at all costs. Sal brought love back into his life. Those what ifs were few and far between now. Even his mother seemed happier. Smiling so much more than before.

He remembered how hard he cried in the bathroom when his mother finally called him ‘Larbear’ again. How thankful he was that no one could see or hear the soft sobs that stained his shirt. Larry remembered how he looked forward to every visit. Every touch starved hug he ached for. (The first few times he left his hands in his pockets, afraid of hugging the other so tight he’d break him.) 

Larry was always afraid for Sal though. This constant nagging feeling in the back of his mind that something was wrong. That something would happen and he couldn’t do anything about it. So he made a vow that no matter what, he’d protect him. And he did.

He took the punches. The bullies. Took the monsters. The ghosts. The demons. He took the nightmares and the fears. All in stride. Never complained. It didn’t matter what time it was, Sal was always going to have someone to fall back on. And Larry never asked for more than he received. It wasn’t until one day he was late meeting Sally to walk home that the boy found out how much abuse he could take. 

Bullies usually carry themselves like wolves. In packs and ready to back up their leader no matter what. They were aggressive. Angry. Abhorrent human beings. But this time. It wasn’t just for Sally.

It was also for Travis.

Travis was being shoved around, treated as nothing more than a punching bag. As if his home life didn’t do that enough. So Larry stepped in and took hit. After hit. After hit. Aching and bruised he let Travis run. And he did. Soon, the bullies grew bored and left. Larry ended up walking with a limp for a solid week and a half. 

“You should see the other guy!” He had exclaimed with pride when Sal had checked him over.

In reality he was internally pleading. Screaming. All he wanted was for all of it to stop. He wanted to stop going to school. He wanted to stop painting. He wanted to stop breathing. His life was twists and turns and all he wanted to do was leave. Especially when his mother asked who he hurt. She didn’t ask who hurt him. She asked who he hurt. It was Sal who stood up for him then. Told her Larry was protecting a fellow student and Lisa had only nodded and walked away. Disappointed. His heart had hurt worse than his entire body that day.

Larry had spent quite a number of days not talking much after that. To anyone. Ash, Todd, Chug, and of course Sal all tried. And they tried hard. Todd asking him about how to paint certain things. Ash jumping on his back and wincing when she realized his knee probably hurt. He didn’t whine. He didn’t make a sound. He just gave her a small smile. Larry had found out later on from Sal that Ash had gone to him frustrated and seemingly on the verge of stress tears. (He of course apologized later. Larry felt guilty about it.) It was actually Travis who pulled him out of his funk that time. In a way no one from his group could. 

“Come on Johnson. As a thanks for before we’re going somewhere.”

So he followed. Curious and not really caring as to where he was going at that point. He followed and followed and followed. Neither boy saying a word until Travis pointed to an old house, run down and spray painted on. 

“So. You’re going to kill me in that place?”

That made the blonde stop and stare at him wide eyed. 

“Uh. No? What the hell johnson?”

Larry snorted. The mortified look on the boys face pulled him into a hearty laughter. More than he had laughed in days. Rolling his eyes, Travis grabbed onto Larry’s wrist and tugged him along. Larry hadn’t pulled his arm away, allowing the tight grip on his wrist to be almost a comfort. He watched the sidewalk turn to grass when they walked up the hill. The grass unmowed for a long period of time and overgrown. Travis didn’t let go for the remainder of the walk there and Larry didn’t ask him to.

Up close, the place looked even more worse for wear. Obviously having not been cleaned up for a long time. The wooden steps were warped and stomped on enough there were splinters tugging themselves loose. The gray paint was turning a deep moss color near the bottom of the house. Peeling and chipping. There were words spray painted all over the door. “Rot in hell” was written in bright red paint and he winced. Travis just shrugged and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. 

“Wait. You have a key to this place?”

“Um. Yeah.. it was my uncles old place. He left me the house when he died. I tried fixing it up but I have no idea how to do it and my parents won’t help me.”

“Oh shit really? So you basically own a house now. How come they didn’t sell it?”

“I guess it’s because they can send me here instead of keeping me at home? I don’t really know but they never brought up the need for selling it. Not to mention it’s already paid off and everything.”

Larry followed Travis in but not before looking over his shoulder. Eyes. He felt eyes on him. He couldn’t pinpoint from where. Sighing in frustration he walked in and shut the door behind him. If someone was gonna jump him they’d have to do it later. His gaze landed on the inside of the house, obviously having been cleaned compared to the outside. Larry took the time to look around. Walking through the living room he spotted comfortable looking furniture, obviously old but well taken care of. There were old pictures dawning the walls. Some of a big family and multiple more of what looked like a young Travis.

The fireplace was cleared of ash, wiped down and shiny. Larry couldn’t help his fingers twitching when he saw all the art books lining a bookshelf. Those obviously haven’t been touched in quite awhile. Upon closer inspection he also noticed a bunch of old paints. Some unopened and some used to the point the tube was curling. All dark. He noted. Travis watched as the tall brunette picked up a tube of used paint. 

“If you want. You can take them. I don’t use them and they’d just go to waste.”

“Maybe later. Thanks man.”

Larry heard the hum of approval. Standing, he wandered around, taking note of the rather large kitchen and the chandelier that graced the dining room. There was food, mostly snacks, left on the counters. There was a sliding door in the dining room, that opened to a screened porch covered in plants. He moved out of the way for Travis to pour bottled water in them. 

“This place is really cool dude.”

Travis huffed, “I guess.”

“But my question is. Why am I here?”

Travis sat on the swinging bench on the porch, looking out on the backyard. Larry followed, sitting next to him. Snorting when Travis grabbed his legs and pulled them onto his lap. Allowing the swing to go back and forth.

“I’ve seen how down you’ve been ever since..,ya know. You saved me. Even Sal seemed really upset. And I figured if you were happy he’d be happy.”

Oh. That’s why. 

“You know, you really didn’t have to do this if it was only for Sal. I’m alright dude.”

Travis flinched and Larry felt bad for saying anything. 

“It wasn’t only for Sally. I didn’t mean it that way. I just. I’m used to you guys being this big bundle of good moods with each other. Always doing stupid shit. And. I guess I care about you too. You guys aren’t that bad. You.. aren’t that bad.”

“Aw thanks man.”

Travis’ face was as red as could be. They spent hours talking back and forth after that. Joking around and soon Larry was putting on music and watching as Travis cringed. They both laughed for hours. Throwing snacks at each other until the sun was setting. It was a fun time. 

“Hey. Maybe I can help fix this place up. My mother fixes appliances and the apartments and all that. Maybe she can teach me and I can fix up the house.”

“Really?” 

Travis seemed suspicious of him. Eyes narrowed and lips set in a pout.

“You don’t want.. anything in return? Like. No money or anything?”

That had Larry laughing. His head thrown back and his long hair swaying with each full bodied wheeze. When he calmed down enough he nudged Travis’ arm.

“Nah man! Of course not. It would be good for me to learn and besides, I enjoyed myself. Figured we could hang out more.”

“Oh.. sure. Yeah. That sounds pretty rad actually.”

That’s how it began. Larry spending most of his time at that house, teaching Travis what he learned from his mother. Fixing old appliances, pipes, even the steps. Both Sal and his mother asked him what he was doing after school. But he only ever said he was hanging out with Travis. Which wasn’t a lie by any means. They borrowed the lawn mower and spent an entire day mowing the lawn. Pulling weeds. Even planting some seeds Larry had found in the basement lost and found area. They bought cans of lavender colored paint and took the time to repaint the entire house. (He says they, but really, it was Larry who did it and Travis would often remind him.)

It had taken months and a shit ton of work, but finally, the entire house was up to their expectations. Larry was surprised when he was given a key to the house.   
Even more surprised when Travis just shrugged and led him inside, pulling him up the stairs and into a spare room that had blank white walls and a big work area. New paint tubes and brushes on a large desk in the corner. 

“I figured since you helped fix the place it might as well belong to you too.”

Larry had bawled. Though neither would ever mention it to anyone else. They stood there and hugged each other. Both boys happy and relieved that they had a space for themselves.

It was months later now. If not nearly a year later. This place became Larry’s place to escape. Only his mother knowing about the house and how much work he had put into it after she sternly asked him where he was going so often. It wasn’t his treehouse, definitely not, but it was almost better to him. Almost. He was able to get away from the ghosts. The insanity. He felt safe in this house.

Right now though. It was to get away from Sal. From Todd. From his friends. Right now. It was so that he could cry without someone walking in his room. He had parked the car back at the apartments and walked to the house. Taking out his keys with trembling fingers and opening the door. Larry went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, still warm, since neither boys had jobs to afford electricity just yet, and downed it. 

His back still hurt. The bruise becoming swollen and agitated. A painful pulsing sensation echoing through his spine and ribs. He needed a shower and he needed a new set of clothes. But that could wait. Right now, he needed time to himself. He pissed off Sal and he didn’t know what to do. He walked up the stairs and walked into his room. The smell of paints wafting into his nose. All four walls were nearly covered in different paintings, some overlapping others. Twisting and turning and not making much sense to the untrained eye. 

All bright colors were the landscapes, barely touched were the dark colors. Beautiful pastels and bright hues were tainted when Larry picked up the dark inks and smeared them on the walls. Creating sad stories of frustration and fear. Melodies sung from his fingertips. Wailings of frustration broke the hopeful thoughts he had before. He barely felt the hand on his own, the hands that wrapped around him from behind. He barely felt the soft breath against the back of his ear whispering it’s okay on repeat. 

He felt the pain in his back when he was guided to the floor. The soft chest of a man to his spine. He felt the tears fall. Again. The third time that day. But this time it wasn’t Sal who dried them. It was Travis. Blonde locks were draping over his shoulder, entangling with his own brunette strands. His friends forehead was placed delicately where his neck met his shoulder. 

“It’s Okay Larry. It’s okay. You’re not alone.”

They spent time like that. Travis holding Larry protectively in his arms. Not seeming to care about the paint that got on his own hands. When Larry winced at his back being accidentally pushed against, Travis had forced his way under the boy’s shirt and looked at the angry bruise that had bloomed in grotesque fashion.

“You might need to get that checked by a doctor. It looks bad.”

Larry shook his head and Travis sighed. 

“Alright Larry. You gotta get cleaned up though and then we are gonna go get some ice cream or something. Because I’m not gonna lie man I’m worried about leaving you alone right now.”

This had happened before. When Larry or Travis were having a rough time, they would do something to get their minds off of it. Especially Travis. Larry had realized quite early on that Travis preferred not to think. Preferred to enjoy himself while he could before he had to go home again. They understood each other. Oddly enough. So he did what Travis said, he got up and walked down the steps. Travis talking about random things while they walked back to the apartment building. Anything he could talk about. He did.

Travis followed Larry inside the elevator. Going down to the basement floor. His eyes widened in shock when he saw Sal following Todd into the elevator from the basement and Larry flinched. Travis couldn’t help himself, he stepped a bit protectively closer to the tall boy. Sal seemed just as shocked by his actions as he was. They walked passed each other, all four boys feeling tense and awkward. Sal barely looked at Larry while Larry’s face contorted into a grimace. The elevator doors shut and Larry’s eyes filled with tears when Sal was finally out of sight.

“He hates me.”

“No he doesn’t. He’s upset and so are you. You guys will work it out eventually. For now, let’s get you some ice cream.”

“I should just apologize.”

“I’m pretty sure you already did that. It’s his turn to apologize to you Johnson.”

“What if I lose him?”

“You won’t.” Travis said stubbornly.

“But what if I do?”

“Then you have me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. I have so many plaaaaans.


	10. Ice cream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep in mind that because Travis is religious there is going to be some religious speak in this. Please please please understand that even if you share the same religion that doesn’t mean this is a stab at it okay? This is just feelings I’ve had before when it came to abuse especially since I myself was raised Religiously in an abusive household. Please just keep an open mind? Thank you so much!

In the end, they never went to get ice cream. Not when Travis’ fingers were carding through long wet chocolate locks. Brushing out any knots and finding his own comfort in the peaceful atmosphere that was Larry’s home. No wonder Sal loved it there so much. He was almost jealous. Almost jealous of how easily Sal probably fit in that Lisa had thought Sal was hanging out rather than Travis when she stepped in the room.

 

He lied to himself. He was pretty damn jealous.

 

Travis couldn’t help but feel gratitude in his chest when he reminded himself that it wasn’t Sal’s fingers in Larry’s hair right now. He wasn’t sitting on a chair behind Larry.That it wasn’t Sal who was in the boy’s room watching a movie with the artist. It was him. _He_ was the one comforting Larry. He was the one who was making Larry happy right now.

 

Not Sal. Him.

 

Sal hurt Larry. Abused the trust and emotions of a struggling man. Travis would never. Larry was humming along to a metal song. Despite the absolutely abhorrent taste in music, Travis loved it when Larry would sing. A deep rumble of breathless whispers. Nothing smooth. Raps and broken notes. It would never fit in the ‘classically beautiful’. But it was absolutely mesmerizing. Travis leaned in a bit closer, his fingers stopping at a knot in the brunettes hair just so he could have the excuse to better hear the angel’s voice.

 

“We should start a band.”

 

“What?” Larry leaned his head back against Travis’ knees. His eyes wide while his pupils dilated into focus.

 

“We should start a band Larry. You and me. You could be vocals. I bet you can play guitar judging by the guitar on the stand over there. Imagine it! I could leave my parents. We could move in together after high school. You could teach me the basics on guitar and I can branch off to do bass or something. Maybe I could learn drums?”

 

Hopeful thoughts. Praying with silent wishes in the face of god. Greed? Perhaps. Greedy for the time of a taken man. Sinful really. He will be punished for it later. He knows. So he waits for the answer. Waits for the yes or no that will either save or crush his dreams.

 

“Can I have time to think about that? Things have been kind of rough for me and I don’t want to give you any answers without thinking it through first.”

 

Oh. That’s reasonable. He huffed.

 

“Of course. I didn’t mean to just spring it up on you.” The pout on his face accentuated by the swollenness of his bottom lip.

 

Larry’s nose scrunched in mirth and he turned around, removing his hair from Travis’ fingers.

 

“Dude not to be like. Weird but you’re like super adorable sometimes.”

 

“How dare you. I’ll let you know Larry Johnson that God blessed me with only the finest of features.”

 

Travis tried to stay as serious as possible. Finding it pretty hard when Larry’s face was twisted in amusement.

 

“Gag me with a spoon Travis Phelps.”

 

“I don’t have a spoon. How about my bible?”

 

“Oh damn man. Gonna literally force the Bible down my throat?”

 

“Maybe then you’ll be saved in the eyes of the lord you homo.”

 

They both paused and then Larry was laughing. The tears collecting in his eyes were of happiness rather than sadness. It made Travis’ heart swell with pride. He made Larry cry tears of joy. Maybe God was blessing him for once.

 

“Hey man, it’s getting late. Do you need to be going home or?”

 

Travis felt his skin prickle. A sigh escaping him almost immediately.

 

“No. Sometimes I’ll stay at my uncle's house when things get… rough. So they probably think I’m staying there. But because it’s late I should be leaving soon anyway.”

 

Larry’s fingers twitched against his rug, pulling at the tiny fabrics. How many times had Travis stayed at the house because of his father?

 

“Wait. Travis why were you at the house anyway? What happened today?”

 

He felt the blonde tense up. Maybe he asked the wrong thing? Why would you ask an abuse victim to reiterate what happened? There he was complaining about a damn argument and crying and screaming about it when Travis was dealing with something so _real_. Abuse. Larry’s lips opened to apologize when Travis hummed a melancholy tune. Sounding oddly familiar to a gospel hymn. Though it was slow and off putting compared to what it might of actually meant.

 

Larry’s breath caught in his throat when Travis’ voice finally created words.

 

“I hate going to church. I hate hearing all of the songs about how god is a savior. He has never saved me before Larry. But I believe in his retribution. I believe in his wisdom. I believe in his teachings. And no. Not the Bible. I mean his teachings in reality. His teachings in the world around me. I don’t believe God will save me Larry Johnson. Not when my father kicks my ribs. Not when my mother turns a blind eye. To save herself from God’s wrath.”

 

Larry knew he was getting too close. He knew he was being risky in the places he was touching. Lifting up the Christian’s shirt to look at the purple and yellow bruise on his ribcage. The tears fell before he knew they even started.

 

“Travis.. that’s.. I’m so sorry. I could never imagine what that’s like..”

 

“I would never want you to.” Larry’s hands felt warm in his own. The brunette’s forehead pressed against his knuckles. Like a man on his knees in prayer to the wrong God. Travis sighed when he heard Larry mumble soft apologies.

 

“Larry I go through pain in my life. But that doesn’t mean you don’t go through pain in yours. Our pains might be different but that doesn’t mean one is worse than the other.”

 

Larry hissed when one hand left his and moved down his spine to the bruise on his back. He felt Travis’ stomach against his head. His face burning red when he heard an exhale of breath. Then Travis’ hand travelled away from his bruise and his eyes widened when his shirt was pulled up.

 

“I’m only looking Johnson, don’t worry. I still need to make sure you don’t need to go to the hospital.”

 

Something off was about the boy’s voice. Almost angry. Protective. Larry went to look up, confused but arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. His face landing against the boy’s shoulder. His shirt fell back into place and a hand rested on the back of his head. Larry felt small. A part of him felt wrong. Wrong for finding comfort in another man’s arms. Even if it was just in the arms of his friend. Was this considered cheating? Would Sal be angry?

 

He never got his answer. Travis was soon letting him go and smiling at him.

 

“It’s not that late yet. I’m gonna run to the convenient store and pick up some ice cream. What kind do you want?”

 

“Uh.. um. Cookies and cream I guess?”

 

“Alright. I’ll be back then.”

 

Larry watched as Travis stood up and walked around him. His eyebrows furrowing when he noticed his bedroom door was open. Was it always open? He couldn’t remember.

 

Maybe it was just his imagination?


	11. What do we do when we are the source of pain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m back with a doozy.

Sal stood in the doorway of Larry’s bedroom. His fingers curled at his sides. He wanted to talk to Larry. Wanted to figure this out. He knew what he did was wrong. Pushing him like he did. But Larry turned out fine. A little wet sure. But fine. He said the wrong things. But Larry shouldn’t have broken his gearboy. That was uncalled for. Todd told him the best course of action would be to talk to the artist about it. Rather than let it stew.

 

So there he was standing in the doorway while Travis was holding Larry. His fingers curling into fists. He heard little of the conversation. He held his breath, afraid they would hear him. Travis saw him. That he knew.

 

“I’m only looking Johnson, don’t worry. I still need to make sure you don’t need to go to the hospital.”

 

Sal looked at the angry marking on Larry’s back. His fists unclenching and going limp. He never meant to hurt Larry. Never meant to leave that mark. Sal would never mean to do that to the boy. The way Travis stared him in the eye made his heart clench and his blood boil. What the hell did Travis know about what happened? He didn’t know anything. He wasn’t there.

 

He turned and walked away. Leaving the apartment in a rush. A hand on his shoulder stopped him before he even got to the elevator.

 

“You two need to talk this through. But if you end up ever hurting him the way you did again Sal Fisher. God have mercy on your soul.”

 

“I never meant to hurt him Travis. Back off. You have nothing to do with this.”

 

“You’re right. I don’t. But Larry does and I care about him. So if you know what is good for you _Fisher_ you’d go back in there and talk to him. I’m going to pick up some ice cream and I’ll be back. You two have better talked this shit out. Oh. Another thing. Larry loves you. He loves you a lot. And as much as I hate it. If he’s happy with you then so be it.”

 

Travis shoved passed Sal, his face set in a grim line. Leaving Sal standing there with a thousand thoughts rushing through his brain. He felt pain in his stomach. His fingers trembling at his sides. He felt guilty. Angry. It was their first ever fight and it got out of hand. Way out of hand. Sal took the steps to Larry’s apartment and opened the door. Walking in to see Larry in the kitchen. Cleaning up bowls and spoons. Most likely getting ready for ice cream. Sal inhaled. Exhaled while he walked to the kitchen.

 

“Larry can we talk?”

 

The tall male jumped, nearly dropping the bowl.

 

“You know that’s the second time this has happened. Don’t you know better than spooking a man with glass in his hand?”

 

His tone of voice was frantic but the look on his face made Sal want to laugh. He watched as Larry put down the bowl. Taking heed of the trembling fingers. The anxiety oozed off of Larry’s skin in waves. Tangible and chilling.

 

Both of them walked out of the kitchen and to Larry’s room, the quiet between them unlike any other they had in their time of friendship. It was unnerving to Sal. He wanted to grab his pigtails and run. He wanted to scream to quiet the loud silence. They sat down across from each other. Sal finally grateful he had the mask to hide the fear in his face.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Larry started. As always. Sal gritted his teeth, anger flooding his veins. Why? He didn’t know. But he felt it. At what? Himself? Larry? Both? Angry because his dumbass boyfriend was apologizing _again_. Angry because he himself didn’t apologize yet.

 

“Me too Larry.”

 

They sat once again in silence.

 

“I think...we should go back Larry.”

 

“What do you mean Sal?” The crack in his voice nearly shattered Sal’s heart. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed roughly made Sal want to hold him like he used to.

 

“I think.. I don’t think we’re ready for a relationship Larry… not yet at least. I just think it was easier when we were just friends.”

 

“Is this because I don’t want you to ghost hunt anymore? Is it because I broke your gearboy? I can get you a new one! I-I can help Todd get the pieces he needs to fix it… we can work this out.”

 

The brunette was frantic, his arms curling around himself in an attempt to stabilize his own shaking form.  Red rimmed eyes gathered more tears. The tremble in his lip showed off the gap in his teeth when he bit down on it.

 

“I just don’t.. I don’t think we’re ready for this yet. I hurt you and that’s not okay. I’m sorry Larry. I think we should just stay friends.”

 

Sal’s voice rang out unbothered in his own ears, as if he was watching it from a distance. The pain in his chest should have told him otherwise but all he could feel was numbness creeping into the corners of his mind. Black and holding.

 

Larry was jerkily nodding, but his face was positioned to the floor. His body curled into half of a ball in the backless chair and the only thing keeping him from falling was his feet on the floor. Tears were dropping and landing on bare feet. Sal felt the urge to comfort him, but had no idea how. What could he do if he was he source of pain?

 

So he got up.

 

And left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry guys this isn’t the end and this ISNT a Travis x Larry thing. Travis just really loves Larry and I want to capture that. Considering Larry is basically his only real friend willing to spend long amounts of time with him at once.


	12. What’s going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So please keep in mind this chapter is long and it has some mentions of harm. Sort of self harm? And depression. Please please PLEASE if you ever have similar feelings that Larry is having, please be careful. From me to you, living with Anxiety and depression is hard. I understand. You’re not alone. And with that being said, I love you, everything will be okay, and I hope you enjoy.

Larry looked back on that night often. The terror always in the back of his mind when he remembered the haunting red eyes staring at him from his doorway when Sal left him. Always watching. Noticing. Breathing down his neck because he no longer had someone to protect him. Because he was  _ this _ close to losing it.

 

When Travis had found him not even ten minutes later he was sitting on the floor of his bedroom catatonic and staring at an empty doorway with what the boy had assumed was black paint on his fingers. Larry didn’t remember anything. Didn’t remember the priest’s son picking him up and tenderly cleaning off his fingers or putting him in bed.

 

Travis had told him what happened the next morning with bagged eyes that could put his own to shame. The boy was up watching movies all night eating his own quart of ice cream just in case Larry’s nightmares acted up. And they did. A lot. The tall male screamed and cried and begged the entire night.

 

He never knew he begged for Sal to stay. To not leave him alone again. That he couldn’t handle the voices in his head. That he wasn’t  _ strong enough. _

 

He didn’t understand why Travis was always there after that. Always watching him from the corner of his eye. Telling him how good he was or how amazing. Larry didn’t understand why Travis was always whispering soft sweet nothings to him when he cried.  But he never asked. He was always grateful for the company instead.

 

It wasn’t the same.

 

It never was. Travis could say anything. Everything. But he wasn't Sal. Travis wasn’t the blue haired beauty that Larry would give his entire life for. It wasn’t his scarred best friend and love of his life. He wasn’t the man who knew Larry’s anxiety or depression and how awful it could be. How Larry sometimes wouldn’t get up for days from his bed or sometimes the opposite, he wouldn’t lay down and rest. He’d be awake, painting. And painting. And painting. 

 

Painting until his fingers ached and his eyes were bloodshot. Until his arms were coverered in oils colored, black, and his mother was banging on his door  _ begging  _ him to eat. Until tears poured down both of their faces and he was apologizing in broken sobs. 

 

Sometimes, Sal would tell Larry on purpose that he had nightmares so Larry would get up and leave his room. Because they both knew he would. Or he’d make those cookies and kiss Larry’s tears away with gentle caresses and understanding words. Sal would put on games and sit with him instead of try to make him laugh. Sal would wait. And wait. And wait with him until finally the dam broke and everything came pouring down. 

 

Travis wasn’t Sal. Which was both a blessing and a gift. Because at first, it was difficult to be around his usual group of friends. Larry often spent school lunches in the art room and Travis would bring him food and sit with him. It had become so routine, larry would set out an extra chair so they could sit comfortably by the window. The only person he ever felt truly comfortable around after the breakup was Travis. Maybe it was because he wasn’t initially a part of their friend group? Maybe it was because Travis didn’t awkwardly smile at him or give him pitying looks. Or maybe it was because Travis was as far personality wise from Sally than anyone else. 

 

It didn’t matter why. The two boys became inseparable. Even going to prom together for their senior year. It didn’t surprise anyone however, when Sal showed up with Ashley who looked absolutely stunning in a beautiful purple dress that transitioned to grey and then to black. With her chocolate locks cascading in ringlets and half put up in a beautiful rose shaped bun on the top of her head. Her bright green eyes were wide and outlined in violets that made them pop. Sal was handsome as always, a black tux with a maroon tie. His hair was down and styled so it was still messy but it looked so touchable. Fluffy and soft. They were arm in arm, though they had only come as friends. It still made Larry’s heart pound in a toxic mixture of jealousy and sadness.

 

It hadn’t surprised anyone when Larry fled to the bathroom and tried hard not to puke up the small lunch he ate because nobody knew. Except Travis. That night Travis held his hand when they danced to a song he absolutely hated. That night Travis had no bruises on his face, his deep onyx eyes poured attention onto the brunette and as much as Larry had wished it was Sal he was dancing with, he was glad it was Travis right then. The blonde looked so handsome in a tux with his hair so perfectly messy. 

 

Larry remembered the white suit with the lilac tie that Travis had donned. How handsome the other male looked with his face ever so close. Both boys would sway and dance and at some point, Larry would spin Travis and out of the corner of his eye, a blue haired beauty would stare him down. The oxygen in his lungs shorted out and the pain in his spine reawakened. He could see the way his best friend stepped forward, then took a step back. The way he turned to face another way and hide his eyes as if Larry was difficult to look at. That night, Larry went home and cried. He cried until nothing was left and all he felt was the presence of a demon that was almost becoming a welcome comfort.

 

About a week after prom, Travis started pulling Larry back to the table. Everyone was shocked when Travis sat down next to Sal and pulled Larry on the opposite side. No one said a word about the distance for the few months or so after the breakup. The awkward silence bothered Larry at first, but soon everyone around him was up and talking again when Travis asked  _ once again  _ if the bologna was actually human flesh. 

 

It became easier after that. Sal and Larry spoke again, albeit less than before. They transitioned into a comfortable friendship. It was easier for Larry to breathe in their small group. Easier to forget his ongoing depression, rising anxiety, and those blood red eyes on his spine. 

 

Months went by faster than anyone was ready for, graduation was done and over with and everyone was moving. Leaving. Ash went off to some amazing art college in a city. Kevin following after her. Sal and Todd moved in with Todd’s boyfriend and Larry was left alone in the apartments. It was hard. So very hard.

 

During the first few weeks the only thing Larry could do was try to ignore the many voices crying in his eardrums. Begging him to end it. He constantly drowned them out in the gracious presence of Travis and his mother. Going with her more and more to help out with her jobs. Another month flew by and Travis had mentioned him moving in to the house they worked so hard on and Larry  _ finally  _ agreed.

 

He was nearly finished packing his bags when his mother had walked in with a tear in her eye and a plate full of cookies.

 

“I’m so proud of you LarBear. I’m so. So proud. You’re going to do so many amazing things.”

 

“I love you so much mom. I promise I’ll be visiting. A lot. If you ever need me. Ever. Call me okay? If anything happens I’ll be here in an instant.”

 

“Larry, honey, it’ll be okay. I’ll be fine.” His mother smiled with big happy eyes.

 

The conversation was short and sweet. Though something never quite felt right with how much it felt like a goodbye. Larry had looked back on his empty room and shivered when he felt chills roll up his spine. Was he really going to leave his mother behind in this place? The guilt rose like vomit up his throat. His fingers trembled and he sucked in a breath. No. This was his anxiety screwing with him. His mother was going to be fine. This ghost shit had him losing his damn mind.

 

Larry picked up the last box and slammed his room door shut behind him. Trying hard to not look back. He saw his mother speaking to Travis in the doorway and he couldn’t help but smile. With a soft kiss to his forehead from his mom both boys went to the car that Lisa had given to Larry on his graduation day (she had been saving up for quite some time). It was a small car, but Larry loved it. Took better care of it than he did almost anything else.

 

The next week was spent cleaning up the house once again and preparing it for actual living. They set up the tv, bought cable, set up electric and water and soon they were living comfortably. They both found simple jobs, Travis working at a coffee shop and part time student for biology. Larry worked for an elderly woman at a small floral shop making bouquets. He also took up a part time job at a tattoo shop being taught all of the stops. Things were going well. He felt more alive than he had in months. He even started working out, gaining muscle and becoming healthier.

 

Currently, he was making dinner which was just pan fried seasoned chicken tenders and fries. Classical music was blasting from his radio in the living room. Travis turned him on to it after Larry refused to play his normal sanity’s fall. After his breakup with Sal, Larry couldn’t bring himself to headbang to his usual. However he still loved the music, that never changed.

 

He looked up at the picture frame on the wall, his father smiling at him. He smiled back. The thought occurred to him that he should call his mother. It had been a few days. Larry picked up the landline and dialed his mother's phone number. When she picked up they spoke for about an hour after, telling each other about things going on in the apartments. How Addison was talking about starting a bigger tea business. How Larry’s ‘internship’ at the tattoo shop was going and how she constantly smelled pot coming from Todd’s old apartment. They laughed. Enjoyed the moment. And after a sweet goodnight, they hung up.

 

Todd. He wondered how his friends were doing. He hadn’t spoken to them in a few weeks. He knew they were still busy with their ghost business. Sal always putting himself in danger with Todd’s inventions and Todd being in danger along it’s the ride. Suddenly, Larry found that wasn’t that hungry anymore. 

 

Loneliness smacked Larry in the face. His anxiety increased and he felt oncoming breaths being more stilettoed. He picked up his phone, dialing the number before he could tell himself to do otherwise. A familiar voice rang through his ears and every nerve in his body relaxed. 

 

“Hey Larry Face, you rang?” Sal sounded curious, the way his tone rose at the end gave away he felt that something was wrong.

 

“Sally Face! Hey man, just wanted to know how everyone is…”

 

“Oh, everyone’s doing well. Gizmo is watching movies and Todd and Neil are out on a date so it’s just me right now.”

 

“Oh..really? Um. Travis is working. Do you wanna hang then?” Larry tried hard not to sound too hopeful. Tried hard not to let the bubble of excitement pierce his heart. 

 

So much has changed in the past few months. So much changed and yet he still loved the blue haired boy with every fiber of his entire being and it  _ stung. _ God did it sting. But did he care? Not at all. Okay. Maybe he did. A lot. He loved him and the boy  _ left _ . 

 

Larry took a deep breath in when he realized he didn’t hear the other male’s  answer.

 

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

“I said sure Larry. I’ll be over in twenty.”

 

_ Click. _

 

Okay, twenty minutes. He had twenty minutes to make sure everything was clean and comfortable and okay. Larry scrambled up his stairs to his bedroom and threw on clean clothes-even though he was already wearing clean clothes he wanted to be  _ extra  _ thorough- and put his ‘dirty’ ones In the hamper.  He brushed his teeth in the bathroom sink, taking in his messy bun and the strands framing his face. He gasped when he ran and nearly fell down the stairs when he remembered he  _ still had chicken cooking and oh my god they might be fucking burning.  _

 

He half realized he was wearing a shirt without sleeves when a splatter of hot grease hit his tattooed upper arm. Wincing, he turned down the heat and was pleased to find that the chicken did not in fact burn. He put a few more pieces in after taking out the finished chicken and changing the oil so none of the cooked bits stuck to the other freshly cooking chicken. 

 

Proud of himself, he grinned and a few moments later he snorted when he realized he was acting really stupid. It was just Sal. The boy has seen Larry at his worst, at his best, and everything in between. However, this wasn’t the same. Larry had built a better life for himself. One without the fears of ghosts and death around every corner. He built a normal, easy life for himself. He worked hard, went home, relaxed and was finally,  _ finally, _ happy with his accomplishments. 

 

This wasn’t the same Larry. But the love was the same and that’s what was keeping him from truly moving on. 

 

The front door opened and Sal walked in. Even now everyone was so comfortable with each other they walked in without knocking. Larry realized that he hadn’t seen Sal just walk into his home since the night they broke up. He pushed the thought out of his mind when the blue haired boy looked him up and down. 

 

Had he said something?

 

“Hey Sally Face, I’m making chicken. There’s stuff In the fridge if you want something else.”

 

“You got tattoos.”

 

Larry blinked, his head tilting to the side, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

 

“You’ve never seen them? I’m pretty sure I’ve had to have shown you at some point.”

 

“No larry, I’ve never seen them.”

 

Suddenly, it clicked in Larry’s mind that, no, Sal hadn’t seen them. They hadn’t seen each other in weeks and Larry had only gotten them long enough for them to still be fully healing.

 

“Whelp. I got tattoos. Sorry, I thought I showed them to you little dude.”

 

If Larry could see Sal’s face, he’d notice the deep red his cheeks donned. He did however, see the way his fingers went to his hair, down and messy. He saw the way those clever digits twirled and weaved. A nervous tick. Larry smiled and let out a long breath through his nose. 

 

“Can I look at them?”

 

‘Sure dude. Just let me check on the chicken first.”

 

Truth be told. Larry had gotten those tattoos when the scars had formed. When he started waking up in cold sweats on the kitchen floor at six thirty three in the morning with black ooze on his wrists formed like cuffs. He remembers six thirty three exactly when he‘d look up at the clocks he put in every room when the nightmares first started. Every morning for weeks. He’d wake up in random areas of the house with veins so blue they looked black. Zig zagging along his pale skin like that of lightning dragging across the clouded sky.

 

Had he mentioned this ghost shit had followed him? That not everything was actually normal? That he was lying to himself to make everything okay? That not everything was easy and better for him because if he didn’t.. well. Oops.

 

Larry never told anyone. Never complained about the pain of bloodied wrists or tongue from where he bit down so hard it cut nearly clean through. He knew he should. Knew he should tell Sal, or Todd, perhaps even Travis. Anyone to help him with this hell that was going on in his head and soul. Before whatever it was that was following him, took him down with it.

 

Hot grease startles him out of his thoughts, splashing against the skin of his hand and he hissed. Sal was on him immediately, checking him over and pulling him away to the sink next to them. Gently but thoroughly, Sal fussed over the rough calloused fingers covered in knicks from flower stems and burns from speckles of heat. The closeness made Larry want to run. At the same time,to step close and kiss him. To pull that damned mask off and kiss those worried lips. He wanted to do so much but all he could do was stand and gape in shock as the shorter male touched his hands so gently, washing away under cold water the burns. 

 

He probably should tell him he’s supposed to use lukewarm water and not ice cold.

 

“Sal. I’m fine dude it’s just a little grease. Calm down.”

 

Sal looked up at him, deep ocean eye scolding him for being so reckless. For not paying attention while cooking. Larry heard the telltale muffled huff from behind Sal’s mask and his wrist was released. He disappointed Sal. Larry’s heart sunk deep in his ribcage. 

 

“I..I’m sorry Sally.” His voice sounded wet.

 

This time, he could see Sal’s eyes when they widened. He could see the realization burst through his pupil and radiate over the creases in the scar tissue surrounding his eye. Sal moved around Larry, taking the pan off the heat and putting it on a different burner. He turned off the stove and faced him. 

 

“Show me your room.”

 

Sal’s voice was lowered, deep, rumbling and commanding. No room for question in his tone. Behind them, a chorus of violins grew restless. Larry nodded, anxiety rising in his chest. Was Sal angry at him? He couldn’t breathe, his fingers making their way to the tattoos on his arm, rubbing against the scarred tissue underneath. 

 

Larry led the way. Walking through the door of the kitchen into the living room and leading him upstairs. Sal followed close behind, close enough that Larry felt his warmth. They walked by Travis’ room, Larry closing the door on habit. Glimpses of an emerald cross hanging above the boy’s bed being hidden by a white door. (Larry had painted the room for Travis to make it his own. Oddly, Travis had an obsession with white and purple. But neither said it. It was just a known understanding between them.) 

 

They walked further down the hall, walking passed the bathroom, then Larry’s painting room, and made their way to the last bedroom in the hall. Every door Larry walked passed, Sal noted, Larry closed. Sal watched more and more the nervous ticks Larry had since the breakup. How he was always looking over his shoulder or rubbing over his wrists. The male looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. The dark circles prominent enough to make it look like he wore makeup and smeared it. Sal was worried for a long time. 

 

He grew more worried when he saw the state of Larry’s room. It wasn’t messy in any means, in fact, it was so clean, it looked too clean. Larry’s bed was beautifully made, the hamper full of folded clothes and yet Sal supposed they were dirty. Larry’s cds were placed in the corner inside a laundry basket, stacked atop each other next to books on subjects Sal couldn’t read from where he was standing. Since when did Larry start reading? He looked more. 

 

The longer he looked, the more worried he became. Larry’s belongings were labeled in cardboard boxes stacked atop each other; personal items, paints and brushes, game console and games. It looked like he hadn’t unpacked. Or that if he had, he only took out what he really needed. Sal stalked over to the dresser, noticing a small vase with thyme rising out. Budded with whites and purples. He also noted a picture taken with Ash’s camera. It was of Larry and himself, smiling at the camera. It was Sal’s favorite picture of Larry, all smiles and content. 

 

There was a medicine bottle next to it, the pills untouched and on it, Sal read ‘anti-anxiety’. He sucked in a breath when Larry plucked it from his fingertips. Smiling awkwardly.

 

“Sorry little dude, forgot to put that back in the bathroom.”

 

“When did you start getting these?”

 

“Oh, uh, mom thought it would be good for me. After um…” he cleared his throat, “after everything.”

 

Sal nodded and looked around one last time, eyes focusing on the window that was covered in pitch black curtains. A stark contrast to the white walls around them. 

 

“Why didn’t you paint your room? I figured you’d want a different color.”

 

“Oh. I just didn’t think it would matter. I’m fine with the white.” Larry replied, plopping on the bed.

 

“Larry… “

 

Larry’s eyes widened when Sal stood over him and leaned down, crawling over him. He could have sworn his heart stopped beating when slender fingers pulled his hair out of its bun. How they carded through his locks. Sal pushed him against the soft plush blankets and everything started fading in and out. When did the dream start? When did the nightmares begin? Larry waited. Wondering. This had to be fake. It had to be his mind playing tricks on him. 

 

“I miss you LarBear.”

 

Larry’s eyes shoot wide open. Tears dripping down his temples and pooling by his ears on the sheets. He sucks in a breath, nearly choking on the saliva in his throat. He swallows and his chest trembles with the oxygen inside of him. It can’t be a dream. He couldn’t handle if it was a dream. He let out an agonized groan.

 

“Sal please. Please don’t do this to me. Please I can’t-cant handle it. Please god don’t say it. It’ll  _ ruin  _ me.”

 

“Larry…” Sal’s fingers withdrew from Larry’s hair and moved up to his own, effectively removing his prosthetic.

 

Sal’s eye were wet with angry tears running down his cheeks. 

 

“Larry I-“ Sal took in a stuttered breath, his lips trembling.

 

“Larry I miss you.” He started again. “I’ve missed you so much. You were always my best friend. And you still are. I miss you Larbear. I’m so. So so so sorry. I’ve left you so alone. I promised you I’d always be there… always. I’m still so fucking in love with you and it hurts, not knowing where you are. Not knowing if you’re okay.”

 

Larry stared up at the scarred boy straddling him. Sal had fallen forward during his confession, a hand placed on either side of Larry’s head. Tears dripped down and mixed with his own. Larry’s arms started burning. He was aching and he needed to touch. To  _ feel _ that Sal was real. Larry reached up and wrapped his arms around the love of his life. Around his best friend. Around the man who ruined his heart and brought it back to life with a phrase. 

 

His arms started burning. Really burning.  **Pain.** Larry gasped and fell back against the bed when his spine hurt again. Everything hurt. Agonizing pain and Larry  _ wailed. _ His eyes rolled into the back of his head and the last thing he heard was Sal screaming his name. 

 

So it wasn’t a dream after all. 


	13. Another version of myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has some gore. If you have trouble with that. Please handle with caution.

This pain.

 

It’s too much.

 

He can’t breathe, please  _ God  _ let him fucking breathe.

 

One petal. Two petals. Three. Too many petals covered in red ink. 

 

Larry bent over the floor of his treehouse, fingers trembling while the flower petals tore apart his throat and tongue. Thorns scraping against the soft tissue of his mouth and dripping acid-like blood between the gap in his teeth. The pain was excruciating, the sensation unlike anything else he had ever felt. It was a burning in his lungs. A pounding in his heart. Aching while the panic blossomed in every atom of his being. So he did something he hadn’t done since his father left.

 

He prayed.

 

He prayed for it to be over. He prayed for the pain to subside. He prayed for the love that caused it to burn in hell. He prayed for whatever this was to stop making him vomit petals every single time he thought of luscious blue locks and warring ocean eyes that stared at him behind an impartial mask. 

 

Cheeks became wet with salted tears and his chin wet with blood. Larry fell on his side, fetal positioned and lost. The weather outside was storming. A few drops dripping between the cracks in the wood. He counted the sound of the water hitting the floorboards. Wishing the time to go by faster.

 

It didn’t.

 

It felt like forever until the pain subsided. The worst out of any pain he could remember. The black ink in his veins reminding him that this has been going on for far too long. The only thing keeping him from losing it is the hope that this will extinguish. That the pain will suddenly vanish and he’ll be okay again. He laid on the floor until his walkie talkie went off. The static humming to life and his best friends voice washed through it. All of the pain he just felt was suddenly the least of his worries when the fear soaked panic of his friend startled him into an upright position.

 

“Larry? Are you awake?” Then there was static. What time was it again?

 

“Yeah Sally Face. What’s up?” His voice was hoarse, but the reply was immediate. 

 

“Do you mind if I come down? I kinda need some company.”

 

“Sure little dude, I don’t mind.” Yes he does. He minds  _ a lot.  _ The reason being he still had blood on his lips and chin and his chest still  _ hurt _ . He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget the pain for awhile but now he had to babysit- no. That’s not right. He absolutely loved talking to Sal. Larry loved making sure Sal went to sleep and waking up with him in the same room and he was absolutely positive he  _ Loved  _ seeing Sal without his mask and glass eye in the morning. Seeing Sal in his most vulnerable state and  _ loving _ how comfortable he was in it around Larry.

 

He coughed. The pain sparking to life again as another fit of azure petals left his lungs. Larry stood up on two shaky legs and made his way to the ladder. He took a deep stuttering breath and climbed down the steps. Immediately, Larry was bombarded with rain. It washed away the blood on his chin and soaked him to the bone. It was nice, the cold water against his burning chest and throat. He opened his mouth and felt the liquid against his cut up tongue. 

 

When he walked in the door to his room, he immediately tore off the wet shirt and pants. He checked himself in the mirror and was glad to see the lack of blood anywhere on his face. After putting on pajamas and hair up in a wet and messy bun he sat down at his mural and painted. Waiting for Sal to open the door and tell him about his nightmare. Blissfully unaware that Larry is living in one. 

 

The paintbrush dragged through lavender, then azure, then white. He stared at the colors that came together to create a blooming morning glory, bunches of them. A single blue in the center of pinks, purples, and the whites. He tried covering the smudge of red at the bottom right corner with a deep purple. But the color became a magenta instead. A gruff sigh left him and Larry counted the seconds before Sal opened the door. 

 

He counted two hundred and seventy six. 

 

The door creaked to life and in came a messy Sally Face. His eye tired looking and swollen. The boy must have been crying. Larry stood up, effectively spilling the azure paint on his leg and it nearly wrenched an annoyed sound out of somewhere deep in his stomach. It wasn’t a lot of paint, but it was the smallest thing that could set him off after such an awful couple of hours. 

 

Sal’s soft chuckles pierced through any annoyance, calming him down in a matter of milliseconds. Larry let out a breath through his nose and smiled shakily, nervously rubbing the back of his head forgetting his paint covered hand. He’d probably have paint in his hair later, but he doesn’t really care. Never really did.

 

“So, what’s goin’ on Sally Face?”

 

Sal looked frozen for a split second too long, obviously debating what to say. Or perhaps, how to say it. His thin fingers were playing with the fabric of his sleeves. Nervous and overwhelmed. Usually, Larry would have noticed these signs and taken them as ‘Change the topic and move on’. However, with how his night has been going, he was slow to the punches.  It felt like forever until Larry caught on, his tired eyes widening. 

 

“Oh shit! Dude I’m sorry. Why don’t we play a game or watch a movie or something?” Larry scrambled to grab a new pair of jeans and put them on. Ignoring his best friends presence for a minute for his own mental sake. He looked over and saw Sal rummaging through his movies without a word.

 

“Alright! Movies it is.”

 

They settled on Toy story (well, Sal chose it and Larry didn’t argue. He never does.) Since Sal enjoyed the movie so much, he barely said a word, too busy staring at the screen to have anything on his tongue. Larry on the other hand, leaned against the wall, mind wandering too often to care about what was happening on screen. His eyes closed after the first hour, body and mind exhausted. 

 

He dreamt of lovely violets and greys. Of sour citrus and lime. Flavors and colors mismatching and mixing together in a blur on a blank canvas behind his eyelids. He felt warmth, heavenly and comforting. Time passed by that way, different tastes on his cut up tongue and a warmth surrounding him. Larry almost wished he’d never wake up. Wished that the peace he felt in this dream was what he’d feel when his eyes were open. 

 

The dream ended with a young man standing in an ocean. So clean and clear he could barely see it. He could hear it. Feel it even. Larry looked down, staring at his reflection and wondering how easy it would be to drown. His fingers slid up to his face, feeling a warm stream of tears on his face and watching it drip into the ocean. Each drop making the water level rise and soon, Larry knew, the water would rise and it would drown him on its own.

 

He woke up alone. 

 

Sal must have gone home after the movie. Larry looked at his alarm clock, not surprised when it said it was three in the afternoon. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling and debated going back to sleep. He felt lethargic. Bones like rubber and skin like paper. He looked around the room again, wishing that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be alone. That the beautiful blue boy would be lying close by. Larry imagined the warmth. Imagined the steady heartbeat that he wished beat for him. The tickle in his throat was back and soon the tickle became a cough. The cough became a wheeze and the wheeze grew into Larry hunched over his garbage can and choking on petals. Again.

 

He grabbed the phone and dialed a number he didn’t recognize. His fingers trembling while he hit the rubber buttons. He dialed purely on instinct. Numbers he knew he never dialed before. A few too many to be a viable phone number. ELifting the phone to his ear, he breathed a hoarse, “hello?”

 

Why was he calling a number he didn’t know? Why did they answer?

 

Why did he hear himself?

 

“Hello?”

 

Suddenly, the pain in his chest reawakened. Burned. Agonizing. Terrorizing every cell in his body and every self preserving thought he could have ever had. It started to deep into the black of his veins. His long legs crumbled underneath him.

 

“Please. Help me. It -it  _ hurts _ . Please fucking  **_please._ ** ”

 

“Dude, let me know where you are and I can try?”

 

The voice on the other side sounded frantic. Curious and afraid. 

 

“I’m in Addison Apartments. In the basement. Please. Something is wrong.”

 

Silence. Larry coughed and hacked up more agonized petals. 

 

“What’s your name?” The voice on the phone asked, lost and concerned. At least, that’s how it sounded. But with hints of annoyance mixing in like a cocktail.

 

“Larry”

 

“That’s my name, Don’t fucking try and prank me dude. This isn’t funny. I used to live in the apartments in the basement. My mom is there now. 

 

Larry’s eyes widened. The beating in his chest suddenly halting to that of a humming tide. Slow and steady. He stopped, looking down at the phone in his hands, the numbers covered in the blood that left his lips. 

 

“Hello?” The phone on the other end sighed, breathing out in raspy annoyance.

 

“Listen. Man. I’m dying. I’m dying and it hurts and my veins are black and I’m rotting from the inside fucking out. My name is Larry Johnson. My mom makes the best fucking cookies and even better chicken tenders. I’m absolutely in love with my best friend and I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not but man it sucks ass.”

 

“If you’re Larry Johnson, like me, what’s the one color you will never fucking touch?”

 

“Trick question asshole. I touch all the paints because if I mix one with another I get a new set of colors. A brilliant result from bullshit starts.” 

 

The voice on the other side died off. Silent and startled. 

 

“O..Kay” it started “Are we the same person?”

 

Both boys stopped and breathed in.

 

Everything was still. The paintings on his bedroom walls staring at him with ill intent. The eyes bleeding ink and crying for the dying man.

 

“Something in me is killing me and I want it to stop man. I’m so scared and alone and the more I try to think about talking to Sal about it I feel like I’m going to cough up my lungs.”

 

“Tell Sal.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Why not? I… we. tell Sal everything.” The voice responded.

 

“Because if I do, he’ll hate me man. I can’t lose my best friend. I can’t lose Sal. It would hurt worse than dying.”

 

“I know. It does. But he loves you. Us. He loves us. Please just tell him. I promise he won’t disappoint you.”

 

The phone hung up. Whether it was purposeful or not. Neither knew. Larry sat back with morning glory petals falling from his lips. Beguiling azure mixing in with his blood. He couldn’t breathe properly. 

 

He looked up, the red eyes of a demon staring back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a short chapter! These next few are going to be real doozies.


	14. Another life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second half to the last chapter.

Larry hung up the phone, sitting in his blank room in the house. Watching the days go by in pure minutes. He was numb. Lost in time. Silence screaming louder than any person ever could. He looked down at his veins and watched the onyx crystallize further down into his fingertips. Prayed for the other version of him to survive his own ordeal.

 

Heaving himself from the spot on the bed, Larry stepped to the mirror across the room. He looked in, watching himself. He watched himself drink a bottle and die. Watched as that version of himself died and noticed the way his dark brown eyes lost their color. The way Sal screamed at him and cried behind his mask. 

 

He watches himself die over and over. Watches countless versions of himself hurt and cry and beg for understanding. Watches as he makes love to multiple people. Some he knew. Ash. Maple. Even Travis in another life. Some he didn’t. A man who had a Cheshire grin. A woman who drugged and used him. He never remembered their faces. Never remembered their names. Most he turned away. Refused to look. Others he couldn’t help but look. Shocked at how the possibilities pushed themselves forward. Each one. He died in a different way. Never pushing past twenty three. 

 

It was odd to him, watching all the different possibilities. Crying as he was never happy in any of them. How he wasn’t blessed to be happy in any of the lives he lived. Why was he meant to hurt? Why wasn’t he capable of being happy? Why was this fair? He watched all of his friends scream and cry and mourn over his death. Larry looked down again, the black in his veins reaching the tips of his fingers. 

 

He put his fist through the glass of his mirror. 

 

He refused, he cried. He refused to die. He refused to give in to the pain. Refused to let his own thoughts kill him.  He was stronger than that. Right?

 

Right.

 

Larry heard more than saw the yelling of his best friend. Of the love of his life. Of his step brother in another life. A few steps further and Larry opened the door. He looked out and saw a thousand doors. 

 

Taking his time, he opened more and more. More possibilities. Each door coated in different hues of blues. The colors soaring through the world around him. He saw himself in pastel colors. A flower shop with a Sal in all black. Tattoos covering his knuckles and listening to eighties music while they danced. He saw himself in a mask like Sal’s. Scarred and discolored while Sal, in the way he was supposed to look without scars, drew a fake mole on the mask. He watched himself with longer hair covered in tattoos scream out lyrics to a song he never heard before in a battle of the bands. With Sal yelling out next to him. Singing their hearts out and loving every second of it.

 

He saw himself. Holding Sal’s hand while morning glory petals laid out around them. Sobbing in Sal’s thin arms and saying thank you to some unknown caller he had never actually met. Larry stood there and a grin crept up to his lips. Maybe in some lives he was supposed to be happy.

 

He stopped at a door that instead of blue. Was tan. A deep tan color that reminded him of something he had forgotten centuries ago. He opened the door to see Sal. Touching his cheeks and checking his pulse. Resting on top of him with a panic that Larry had seen a billion times before in other lives.

 

“Please Larry don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I love you.”

 

The beating of his heart grew louder the closer he got to the door. Perhaps this was  _ his  _ reality. Perhaps he was supposed to finally walk in. He felt a hand on his shoulder. A large, warm, kind hand.

 

“Larry. You mustn’t allow yourself to become so selfless you lose pieces of who you are. You can’t keep giving to those who won’t give back to you. Love. Trust. Respect. Understanding. You must stay strong for yourself. You have proven your love in all of your other lives. You keep giving yourself and keep dying because of it. Stop. Provide yourself self-preservation. Times will come where you can give it all. Give some. Or give none. Decide wisely which is which my son.”

 

Larry was pushed through the door without another word. He had no time to collect his thoughts when he was waking up with a gasp for air and the ink in his veins purging. He looked up at the baby blue in his lap.

 

“LarBear?”

 

“Hey little dude.” 

 

“What the fuck was that Larry? Don’t “Hey little dude me” after you just passed the fuck out!”

 

Larry took a moment and lifted his fingers to drag across Sal’s arms. He felt the smooth expanse of skin and the way goosebumps formed under the tips of his fingers. He looked up and saw tears in mismatch eyes. 

 

“I don’t know what happened Sal. But I’m okay..”

 

It took a long minute before Sal nodded. The thoughts screeching in the forefront of his brain. Larry was only passed out for mere seconds. Perhaps thirty. He hadn’t had time to gather a game plan or understand what had happened. He saw lines. Dull lines making their way up Larry’s face. The way his eyes rolled looked pure white. 

 

“Sal. Sally Face. I’m okay.”

 

“Okay…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got any references I put in there, good ;)


	15. When I look at myself all I see is how I hurt you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sal’s POV. I think his thoughts should be heard. And I didn’t forget about this work. Things have been rough. And this fic is a lot of heart that sometimes I’m not ready to put out there but here we are!

_ “Sal. Dinners ready.” _

 

_ “Sal. Time for work. Have a good day!” _

 

_ “Sally Face! Don’t forget to take your meds, doctor says you need to take one when your nerves act up.” _

 

_ “Sal! I want you to know you’re amazing. That’s it really. Sorry to bug you.” _

 

_ “Sal…I.. have a good day at work.” _

 

I love you too.

 

God I love you Larry. But I’m never enough for you. You’ll never say it. You’ll never admit it. But you’re afraid of me. You’re so positively terrified of me that you’ll keep me at arms length. You’ll hug me, and kiss my forehead but never my lips. You’ll breathe soft words of encouragement but you’ll never say those three words you long to say.

 

I love you Larry.

 

But you’re afraid of me. You’re afraid I’ll change my mind and leave again. I see the way you flinch when my fingers graze your spine. Or how you open those slightly chapped but unfairly soft lips and close them when you want to mutter soft love. I know you  _ want  _ me. I know you desire me. I see it in the way your eyes rake up and down my body when I change into pajamas at night. I see it in the way those swirling onyx orbs travel down my chest when I take off my shirt to massage lotion on my newly done tattoos. I see it when your eyes graze the artwork I pleaded for you to do on my flesh. 

 

I see it. 

 

I feel it.

 

I  _ desire  _ it.

 

I want to kiss your neck and leave my claim. I want to scrape my nails against your skin and watch the way you gasp in surprise. I want to pull your hair and leave you begging for me. Sometimes, I’ll imagine it rough. Aggressive and provoked sex.  Other times, I want to kiss your lips. To taste your tongue against my own and watch those beautiful eyes fill with tears when you feel the heated awakening of emotions you tried to kill so many months ago. I want to reopen you. To make you feel lost in love and pleasure and to show you that you have nothing to be afraid of.

 

I want you. I love you. I  _ need  _ you. I tried so hard to block out the aching need to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving. I wasn’t thinking correctly. So lost in the thought of saving people who are already dead I harmed the warm body who followed belongside me.

 

I ruined you.

 

I saw you cry so many times holding that paintbrush in the art room with Travis holding you. I saw you bolt away during prom when you saw how gorgeous Ash was wrapped around my arm. Even though you knew. You knew Ash only went with me because Kyle wasn’t allowed in prom. You knew I didn’t love her the way I loved you and yet you spent most of the night wrapped in Travis’ willing arms. I could only stare as you looked so handsome with your hair brushed to the side and the black tux you refused to wear the coat to. The gray tie decorated in intricate patterns that had belonged to your father. I saw Travis stare into your eyelined eyes and I resented him. Resented that he was allowed to dance with you so close on a night where it should have been me. 

 

Now you live with him.

 

“ _ Fuck you! Be with him for all I care. If Travis is so important to you! Date him instead.” _

 

I said it instead of listening. I yelled in anger and jealousy. I pushed you further away. I wish I could take it back. Do it over and repeat my conversations. I had apologized later. But you told me in a soft rasp that you didn’t deserve to be yelled at. With sparkling gems in your eyes you told me that if I felt so threatened by Travis I should spend time with him and his new boyfriend. 

 

So I did.

 

We both did.

 

We went on a double date and the entire time I kept wanting to scream at how in love they were. So new and in love and it was beautiful for them. You didn’t even hold my hand. I didn’t blame you. After what I said. After what I did. But you kissed me on the forehead at the end of the night when I apologized a second time. You cradled me in your arms and fell asleep quickly. You slept and I stared at your eyelids flutter underneath darkened eyelids. What were you dreaming about when you gasped and shuddered in your sleep?

 

I’m sorry Larry. 

 

I’m sorry I hurt you so badly that you cry out for me but you can’t receive my touches for what they are.

 

I’m sorry I ruined the sweet kisses to your cheek.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I’m sorry.

 

Please forgive me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it.


	16. The thoughts of a hurting and loving man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Larry POV. I really hope this isn’t as rough as I thought it was. Honestly I wanted it to seem a bit all over the place. Because that’s what Larry is. All over the place with no better outlet. Also. There are some triggering thoughts and feelings in here so please be wary.

I want to kiss you. 

 

I want to give you the parts of me that I could never give anyone else. 

 

You tell me you love me and I believe you but my fears tell me that loving you would do you more harm than good. 

 

I don’t understand why I can’t be more courageous. I want to be so much better and yet here I am once again painting away fears that bother me. I’m not good enough. 

 

If I wasn’t good enough the first time why would I be the second time?!

 

Why wasn’t I good enough the first time?

 

Why do you want me now? You had months to tell me you missed me… why now? Did I make you so angry at me you wanted to leave me forever? I know I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been…

 

Shouldn’t have taking multiple bullets for you have counted as enough? Shouldn’t have three in the morning hugs and kisses counted as enough to not leave me? I listened to you cry. I protected you. I gave you everything I could and I wasn’t enough then so why am I enough now?

 

What changed?

 

You yell at me because Travis and I are so close… you tell me it wasn’t supposed to be that way. What wasn’t? Travis and I being close or you leaving me? I don’t know what’s good enough for you Sal. I don’t know how to communicate my fears or my wants with you.

 

I want to see you flourish and grow. But I want to be by your side during it. I want you to leave behind the ghosts and the pain. I want you to give it up for me and I know that’s selfish. God is it selfish. But once you tangle in the afterlife you won’t come back to me and I need you here. I need you and I love you and I want you so much but I don’t know how to communicate that properly. I saw how so many lives started and ended and I just want to be in the one that survives.

 

Please?

….

 

Travis tells me I need to grow a backbone and tell you how upset I am. He says that if I don’t do something now it’ll never be the same between us and all I want is for us to not repeat the same bullshit we had in lives prior. Easy to say that I’m not doing so well about the idea.

 

I’m nervous? Frightened? 

 

Terrified?

 

I’ve never been great at words. But I’m working on it. 

 

I know I need to tell you what bothers me. And what I want in this relationship. But to me… it was never about me. 

 

It was always about you. For you. With you. 

 

I was always your sidekick in everything. Every fight. Every supernatural force. Every person that argued with you I was right next to you. Fighting alongside you and not asking questions.

 

And that was okay.

 

Until it wasn’t. 

 

I’m not good enough. I’m not good with words. Or smart. Or funny. I’m not pretty or beautiful. I’m not talented. I’m nothing like the rest of them and I wish I was. 

 

My walls are a blur of paints and colors and I’m standing with broken paint brushes that are so caked in paint I know I’m going to need a new set soon. But my fingers are so scarred and bruised that I’m afraid if I use them again I’m just going to keep clawing until there isn’t any pain left and I lose use of the only tools I have worth salvaging. Because at least with these fingers.

 

With these hands.

 

I can paint you. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for those who comment. I DO read them. I don’t usually reply because I lack the time and I hope to put the time I do have in the chapters I write. But I do read them and I do appreciate them. Thank you guys so much.


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